ENTERTAINMENT
10/02/2014 08:03 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

'The League,' Season 6, Episode 5 Recap: The Hot Tub

FXX

I know I've said it before but I'm just going to dive into this week's episode saying that Jenny is literally my spirit animal. Girl's got serious game. She bought Kevin a hot tub for their sexaversary -- which, kudos to the writers, is still being celebrated after five and a half seasons now. They can officially work on getting Kevin's testosterone situation handled amongst bubbles. Woo-hoo!

Taco gets his check from Mark Cuban - in American dollars, not Cuban dollars. He's still gung-ho about buying a house so he concedes to Jenny and hires her as his realtor. But, you know, he doesn't want a house with kids.

Kevin and Jenny head out for drinks with the gang and run into Pete and his new ladyfriend Rosette along the way. Rosette, played by Brenda Song (AKA LONDON TIPTON FROM THE SUITE LIFE OF ZACH AND CODY... sorry for the caps, it was necessary), leaves almost immediately and everyone heads into the bar. Finally, after two weeks, everyone's all together again! Ruxin's back from Korea, Andre's getting verbally assaulted, and Taco's still Taco. All is right with the world.

Ruxin's having sexual issues with Sophia and can't seem to hold off on the big O. He and Sophia head over to Kevin and Jenny's to partake in the first hot tub sesh of the episode, which leads to a whole lot of cleavage exposure. Kevin keeps ogling Sophia's goodies and weirdly ends up holding her hand. It's abundantly clear that Jenny is the girl-next-door to Sophia's sexpot. Kevin does an abysmal job at trying to prove that he's more attracted to Jenny after she calls him out on his attraction to Sophia and already the hot tub is doing more bad than good.

Pete, Ruxin, Andre, and Kevin get drinks and Pete gets inexplicably blamed for all the handholding that's been happening. Russell shows up to offer Kevin advice on how to better his bed skills with Jenny. He suggests "love pants" -- more on these later. Jenny and Taco embark on house-hunting together and they start doing some recon in the rest of the gangs respective houses. In typical Taco fashion, he has nothing good to say about any of his friends' dwellings.

Andre is being an advice slut and asking his friends, random dudes, and really anyone who will listen for their opinions on his league and his life. After running into Russell at the bar and hearing about the "love pants," Russell takes Andre (and Kevin) shopping for pants of their own. Andre takes the opportunity to ask Russell for date advice, which ends with Russell suggesting a hot tub date. Andre is intrigued.

Kevin buys a pair of love pants in anticipation for a night at a hotel with Jenny to celebrate their sexaversary. His junk is on full display in them and he looks irritatingly like a 70s movie actor. Of course, while going to get Jenny flowers in preparation for the big night, he runs into Sophia, who can't ever seem to resist being overly touchy-feely. She insists on helping Kevin and the ordeal turns into a whole lot of penis-grazing... which ends in a public ejaculation that leaves Sophia FOREVER UNCLEAN.

Kevin runs back into the pants store to rectify his situation and is met in the changing room by Rafi. Rafi causes mayhem as always, causing Kevin to throw his stained "love pants" out the window. They magically land on Rosette's head, as she happens to walk by hand-in-hand with Pete. Pete refuses to hold her hand again after she touches the pants and I really can't say I blame him. Kevin, ya nasty.

Rafi starts physically fighting with Kevin in the dressing room because he threw away the pants and the amazingly absurd clothing store manager named November has the two arrested. Jenny is left alone on a bed of rose petals (looking BANGING, by the way) and a bottle of wine as Kevin and Rafi get taken away in the back of a police car.

Reverting back to Andre, he has taken Russell's advice and surprises his date with Kevin and Jenny's hot tub. Everything goes wrong when Taco ends up blocking Kevin and Jenny's toilet with wipes Ruxin brought back from Korea, causing it to back up into the hot tub. The date is thwarted by a whole lot of crap (literally...) and I suddenly never want to go into a hot tub again. Le sigh.

THINGS TO NOTE:

  • Kev-hog.

  • Andre's splatter-painted button down.

  • "There are two kinds of people in the world. People who have a hot tub that is in the ground and other people who are worried that a tornado is going to take their above ground hot tub away from the trailer park that they live in."

  • "Hand holding is the worst. That's not where the hand is supposed to be."

  • "You're a pig in a blanket."

  • "Any unlocked house is an open house."

  • November, the "love pants" store manager.

  • "A FORBIDDEN hot tub?! That's the best kind."

  • Keep up with "The League" recaps here every week. "The League" airs on Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET on FXX.

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