Kicking off this episode in front of the TV, the gang is at Andre's chatting about Ellie attending Sunday school. Kevin says it's because they want her to have some semblance of morals and Jenny just keeps it real by saying that she can watch the game without interruptions now. Quality parenting, FTW. Taco interrupts the convo with MAJOR TacoCorp news: someone has stolen his walkman with a recording of all the EBDb information on it. GREAT ODIN'S RAVEN.
Andre rescues a cat, which he calls "Milady." The kitty causes everyone to bite their tongues at the plethora of pussy jokes suddenly waiting to be thrown out there. I don't even feel bad for Andre anymore. Homeboy does it to himself. Jenny takes the possibility of pussy wordplay to the next level by proposing that the first person to crack under the hilarity and make a pussy play has to trade their best running back. Let the games begin.
Because apparently the McArthur's are always having health issues, Jenny's the one visiting her doctor this time around. She's a little backed up in the bowels and as such, the doc gives her a "stool kit." For three days, Jenny's got to take samples of her poop and scoop them up, put them in baggies, and freeze 'em. Gives new meaning to the word "fudgsicle." Yeah.. you already know where this is going.
At Gibson's, as always, Pete's debuting a new chick named Penny, played by Anna Camp. Penny runs a pet grooming company that specializes in "cattitude," which is a great bonding point with Andre. After she leaves, Andre tells the guys of an upcoming photo shoot he has with Milady. Pete, Kevin, and Taco are literally squirming as they skirt around the massive pussy... I mean, elephant... in the room. Andre asks Kevin if he can do the shoot at his house because Kevin has the play set and Kevin happily agrees. Kevin also convinces Pete to get Penny to give Milady some extra "cattitude." Pete obliges and Penny is super excited at the prospect of getting to groom Andre's cat for the shoot. Andre has promised to refer her to all of his wealthy, doctor friends if all goes well. Unaware that the whole thing is a prank, Penny shares her excitement with Pete and, in a shocking twist, we see Pete visualize some discomfort at being a dick. GASP.
Reverting back to Jenny and her situation for a hot second, she is extremely disgusted by having to freeze her excrement. That disgust, however, pales in comparison to her disgust for Ellie's claims that she and Kevin are worshipping false idols. As per her new Sunday school teachings, Ellie is regarding Jenny and Kevin's affection for the Shiva as something that will send them to Hell. I hate to be the bearer of bad news here, Ellie, but that ship has long since sailed for your proud parents. So take your Sunday school prayers and get out of Jenny's face because the Shiva ain't going nowhere.
Anyway, Kevin and Taco persuade an unsure Pete to go through with the prank and Kevin heads to play basketball. While there, he runs into his priest. Kevin's priest, played by the adorable Jerry O'Connell, whoops his ass on the court - literally. The "heavenly fouler," as Andre so aptly calls him, even goes so far that he gives Kevin a black eye. I'd feel bad but Kevin has an extremely punchable face so the bruise fits.
Ellie's clearly taking notes from the mother of Carrie in this episode because homegirl is going full-fledged batshit and biblical. After reciting some Bible verses at, not to, her parents, Pete, and, Andre, she storms out of the room just before the whole gang recites some "Hail Shivas." Taco interrupts the Shiva-ing to reveal the EBDb information that was on the walkman - one tidbit of which includes a lesbian encounter that Jenny had with a girl on her field hockey team back in the day. Kevin is not enthused about the secret keeping and runs to the kitchen to get ice for his priest-induced shiner. He grabs one of Jenny's frozen poop bags to use and Jenny doesn't have the heart to tell him that it's not what he thinks it is.
Kevin plays basketball with the priest again and the fouling continues. Irritated, Kevin fouls right back and slams the priest in the face. The priest pulls the "I'm a man of God!" card and clutches his temple. Kevin tries to make amends by offering the priest an ice pack. Shit hits the face, I mean, the fan... hell, I mean the face AND the fan, when the "ice pack" starts leaking actual crap on the priest's face. What'd I say before? We knew something like this would happen. Oh Kevin.
Taco goes into a Chinese convenience store, intent on finding his lost walkman and in rustling around the various food items, the owner screams at him. The owner then chases Taco out of the store and to escape, Taco hops into the nearest dumpster. The dumpster happens to have the walkman in it, EBDb information and all, and all is right with the world according to Taco.
At the photo shoot for Andre, Penny arrives with Milady and the cat is straight-up rachet. Decked out in tattoos (including one of Andre's face), a hat, and paw sleeves, Andre's pussy is far from camera-ready. Andre is furious and vows to poorly review Penny on Yelp, Penny is distraught, and, yet again, another one of Pete's flings comes to a crashing, burning halt. Kevin and Jenny's priest shows up with Ellie in tow because Taco failed to pick her up, as he was in the dumpster. Priest Jerry O'Connell calls out Kevin and Jenny for worshipping a pagan idol called Shiva and, desperate to explain, the two take him into the garage to show him the trophy. There they find Taco bathing in an inflatable pool and they only infuriate the priest more. The icing on the cake comes when the priest opens the cabinet that the Shiva is supposed to be in only to get attacked by Milady who was lurking inside. The priest leaves angrily, condemning them all to hell, and Taco gets the last word of the day with a perfectly timed pussy joke.
Hail to the Shiva.
THINGS TO NOTE:
Keep up with "The League" recaps here every week. "The League" airs on Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET on FXX.