DIVORCE
10/20/2014 07:53 pm ET

The Tell-Tale Sign My Marriage Wasn't Going To Last

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When you're young and in love, it's all too easy to get swept up in the moment and overlook any possible red flags. (Heck, it's true at any age. Let's not pretend the middle-aged or post-50 set are immune to love's debilitating effects on rational thinking.)

But looking back post-split, you can often pinpoint a handful of moments that should have signaled it wasn't going to work out. Below, HuffPost Divorce readers share the first sign their marriage wasn't going to last.

1. "When my husband had a 'friend' he refused to distance himself from even when I told him the friendship bothered me and didn't seem quite right."

2. "When he told me he loved me on the second date, but never treated me lovingly."

3. "When he left a note on the door that the children found, essentially saying he'd take his things and filed for divorce. Who knew? Who saw it coming? Not me, after 25 years...surprise! And he cleaned out all the accounts, and never said goodbye to his kids like an emotional coward."

4. "When she stopped trying and took me for granted."

5. "When he chose alcohol over me..."

6. "When the words till death do us part started to make me wish death would come soon."

7. "When he was filling out our engagement counseling booklet and wrote 'giving up my freedom' in response to the question: 'What is the biggest challenge in marriage?' Needless to say, he left me and our two children 10 years later for a much younger woman."

8. "When I started to stay longer at work because I didn't want to go home anymore. When I'd have panic attacks if I drove up the driveway and his car was there. I started wishing I was with anyone else but him."

9. "When he let his family treat me poorly."

10. "When we stopped talking, sleeping in the same room, stopped having sex, and were happier alone."

11. "When I was in early labor and he became angry with me and yelled at me."

12. "When he told me if I wanted our marriage to last then we would have to send our foster daughter back into foster care. I told him goodbye and adopted her. No one comes between me and my baby girl."

13. "When I realized I went into it for the wrong reasons."

14. "When he didn't want me looking over his shoulder while he was on Facebook."

15. "When I went to take him something in the hospital after an injury and his girlfriend was there. Quite the day that was."

16. "When he would side with his mother and father even when he knew they were wrong."

17. "When I stumbled across his stash of gay porn."

18. "When he began asking me to change into this impossible version of a wife and mother and I needed him to grow up. The last straw? When I finally realized I couldn't be the kind of woman he wanted."

19. "When he made fun of me in front of his friends. It took me 20 more years to leave."

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