12/19/2014 09:43 am ET Updated Dec 19, 2014

The Next Waves Of Feminism

Larry Dale Gordon via Getty Images

Fourth wave – All regular women will become Catwomen. All Catwomen will become twenty feet tall and perch upon thrones of pearl and of onyx. All cats will gain the ability to laugh like humans, but not to speak.

Fifth wave – The same as the fourth wave, but all Goombas are replaced by Buzzy Beetles, and all enemies walk faster; all of the elevator-style lifts are about sixty-percent of their original size, while Firebars appear in all possible locations

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