12/19/2014 10:20 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Woman Slurps Turkey Slice, Heals America (VIDEO)

There's a lot of bad things in the world today: North Korea being grumps, cold weather, The Colbert Report going off the air. It might seem like a never-ending cycle of pain, but fear not! America's savior has arrived.

Like a beautiful angel cast down from the clouds, this turkey slurping gal is courageously healing the hearts of Americans -- dare we say all of humanity -- one slice of cold, processed meat at a time.

In a video uploaded to YouTube by popular Snapchater Tim Sessions, a turkey slice legit disappears in a single breath.

The man behind her attempts the same feat, but is simply not worthy.

We just hope this turkey slurpee is in fact real, we've suffered enough heartache already.

Like Us On Facebook |
Follow Us On Twitter |
Contact The Author