In what has been hailed as a landmark achievement, members of the Internet agreed for nearly seven straight seconds Wednesday on a wide variety of topics including politics, religion and the cutest dog breed.
The rare moment of comity erupted spontaneously after days of difficult and wide-ranging conversations.
It began when, ostensibly, every single person's "That High School Friend" went on strike from posting statements such as “My religious beliefs are fact and yours are fiction.”
The Internet even stopped questioning Ted Cruz’s "science"-based arguments — as well as his footwear choice. And there was nary a public hearing about the contents of Hillary Clinton’s 60,000 emails.
Facebook users even temporarily ceased "jumping into the vaccine debate" -- and what happened next might be the most amazing victory: Their friends stopped migrating over to Twitter to complain about them.
And for those keeping track, it was universally agreed that corgis were, in fact, the cutest dogs on the planet.
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All this happened after the Internet had been deadlocked on the topic of Grumpy Cat and whether the celebrity feline is the "grumpiest," or merely just "grumpy."
In a statement to The Huffington Post, Facebook confirmed not one of its users posted a single word of vitriol to the site for seven seconds.
Reached for comment, Jessi Grenard, a teen who spends much of her time on the social networking site, said she had "all the feels." Pressed for details, she demurred: "I just couldn't even."
YouTube responded by disbanding its comment moderation software, which, on account of the newfound unity, was no longer needed.
Company representatives said the computing power freed up by scrapping the program was "significant" and indicated they'd re-tool it to seek a cure for the common cold instead. A legion of anonymous, fedora-wearing men applauded YouTube's decision by tipping their hats in silence.
On Reddit, a comments section previously devoted to arguing whether or not the city of Bird-In-Hand, Pennsylvania, would be worth twice as much in the bush, was the first to quiet down. All across the website, which bills itself as the "front page of the Internet," members ceased arguing until under every original post there was only mutual agreement and respect. Each comment read only, "This," in agreement with each prior comment.
UN leaders of all nations, caught off-guard with nothing to argue about, took to the floor and silently hugged it out, video of the event showed.
Happy April Fools' Day :)
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