MARLO THOMAS
09/28/2015 03:22 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Some Advice On How To Manage The Cheating Blame Game

Are humans truly meant to be together for life? Or are people always going to be tempted by outside desires, no matter the circumstances? We had psychotherapist and relationship specialist Lisa Brateman on the show to talk with us about the state of monogamy, obstacles to commitment in the modern age, and how we can work through issues of loyalty in our own relationships.

Independent resolution
When couples come to Lisa with issues of betrayal, healing the relationship is a process that takes several steps. Initially, there is a lot of blame involved, which may feel good for some, but isn't necessarily "productive." But once that phase is over, Lisa likes to sit with each partner individually to explore "what they think they might have created" to cause the division. By examining the problem individual to individual, Lisa can isolate reasons why people may have behaved badly, and help the affected parties handle the problem internally first. She even believes that the husband who cheats "because his wife would only wear sweatpants" has some valid arguments, as long as they can express that argument in a blame-free way.

Click here to see the full interview with Dr. Lisa Brateman.

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