We all know women who turn heads when they walk into a room.
They aren't necessarily the prettiest, the thinnest, or even the most successful, but they have a certain energy.
While there are many qualities of confidence, I composed 8 that are most important and which can be learned.
1. They practice authenticity.
We are more "seen" today than ever before thanks to technology. Social apps flood us with glossy photos of perfectly arranged dinner tables and newly engaged friends. What's not shown is that everyone has insecurities and flaws.
Chances are if you're nervous about being seen in a swimsuit, thousands of other women are as well! You do this world good when you embrace your whole self.
2. They don't conform.
Confident women don't feel the need to conform to other's standards, clothing, body shape, or beliefs, because they aren't walking cookie cutters. They stand strong in who they are because they know that they have their own unique gifts and talents. They know it's more powerful and courageous to look within and discover what makes them happy.
3. They don't take things personally.
You could be Mother Teresa and someone will still find something to criticize. So when you're able to see criticism as a reflection of the speaker rather than of you, life becomes less full drama and a lot more fun.
They have learned to feel compassion for themselves and move through feedback with grace. I offer more guidance on self-compassion and happiness in my free guide here.
4. They prioritize self-care.
One thing I know is that if I don't take care of myself I get burnt out very, very quickly. In fact I spent the majority of my 20s stuck in a cycle of excitement followed by burnout. It was exhausting.
Without a system to care for our minds, bodies and spirits we have little left to give to others. So know what you need to keep you in the zone. Then, make it non-negotiable.
5. They don't glorify busy.
This tails onto number 4. Self-care and rest is the best response to busy. You may have ambitious goals, a to-do list miles long, social gatherings, family obligations and a gym membership. Life can get busy fast, and busy is addictive!
Rather than run around like a mad woman, choose to see your day as full and move with ease and grace. Highly confident women know when they need to push the pause button and recharge.
6. They own their choices and release guilt.
Truly confident women know when to own and apologize for mistakes they've made. They also understand that guilt is meant to be a temporary emotion that helps to teach you something, not to hold onto for dear life until it sucks all your energy.
Rather than focusing on what you didn't do or should've done, focus on the clean slate of today.
7. They don't need praise from everyone.
Praise is a wonderful thing and should be handed out more freely! However, highly confident women aren't living for someone else's praise. They move forward boldly in the direction of their dreams.
If you allow other people's opinions to be more important than your own, see if you can tap into your own intuition where deep down your know what you need to do. Just asking yourself "what do I need right now?" can bring greater confidence.
8. They see failure as opportunity.
Confident women know that there will be bumps along the road. They know they're not perfect or capable of always making the right decision. They know that they will fail, hurt others and be hurt by others. This is part of our shared human experience.
But they also know how to forgive themselves, to have compassion, and to see the lesson and the blessing (sometimes in hindsight) as they journey through this crazy wild thing called life.
Love,
Alexis
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