THE BLOG
12/01/2014 05:37 pm ET Updated Jan 31, 2015

How to Get What You Really Want in Life

What do you really want in your life?

Pause.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.

What do you really want?

Recently, I was speaking with a client who admitted to me that whenever I asked her where she saw herself in 10, five, two years, and when I asked her to pause, breathe, and tell me what she wanted in her life... doubts came up almost instantly. You see, for her the hard part was not knowing what she wanted -- she had a pretty good idea of that. As with all of us, though, she had a drunk monkey in her mind telling her why she couldn't have those things. Self-limiting beliefs like "I'm not good enough," or "I can't afford that," or "I can't do that if I'm not in New York City," popped up. We realized these beliefs, these fears are what was keeping her stuck in her life. She knew what she wanted, and she knew what she wanted to do -- she just had to conquer those fears.

We all struggle with opposing viewpoints within our minds. We want one thing, but we feel bad that we want it. For example: I want to lose 10 pounds, but that must mean I'm vain; I want to be on TV, but that must mean I want lots of attention; I want to make a lot of money, but people with money are greedy and evil; I want to change the world, but who am I to think I can do that? etc. The issue with this is that when you have a desire coupled with a judgment, the two cancel each other out. BYE! Your brain literally doesn't know what to do with these two opposing thoughts, and so it does nothing.

That's where the feeling of being stuck comes from: You know what you want, but you're judging yourself for wanting it.

I want better for you, love. You, we, all of us, are meant to live the life of our dreams. I truly, 87,000 percent believe that. What you have to realize is this: you are never given a desire without the ability to achieve it. Anything you can imagine is yours; it's real, it's possible, and it's yours: yours to keep, yours to nurture, yours to bring about.

Taking a step into the woo woo, I recently realized that our desires are how the Universe communicates with us. We're always looking for signs of what step to take next but in actuality, we know! The Universe/God/Whomever you believe in is communicating through you. THROUGH you; not to you, not for you, but through you. Listen to yourself, you already know the answer. And when you commit to your desires, you're fulfilling a heaven-sent promise. There's nothing wrong with that. In fact, it'd be a crime not to heed that desire and do everything in your power to make it a reality.

Here's a process I take my clients through that can help you stop judging your desires:

1) Sit down, breathe in, breathe out, and listen.
Your desires are already within you, so listen for them.
Breathe deeply as many times as you need to but trust me, they're there.

2) Record your desire: Write it down, say it aloud, make sure the rest of your body knows what you're fighting for.

3) Take note of every fear, doubt, and self-limiting belief that comes up.
BREATHE. BREATHE. BREATHE.

4) Own your desire.
You know your desire, you are worthy of your desire, and you don't need the negative mind talk.

5) Take action.
Big or small, take action on your desire. Need to set up a meeting? Email that person now. Need to get pictures taken? Make time in your schedule to research photographers and ask friends for recommendations. Whatever you need to get done, take the first, tiny little baby step. Do it.

You've totally got this. You are worthy of your desires, and it's up to you to make them happen.