For those who aren't up to speed on twerking and other ridiculous phenomena such as the selfie, let me be the one to school you on the inevitable and unironic obligatory snap taken by anyone with an iPhone and something on their agenda that they want their followers to know about.
After a few (realistically more like 20) attempts at capturing the perfect angle, which, is slightly above the head and a few degrees to the left (you're welcome), said selfie is then heavily edited with Instagram's built-in filters of light that miraculously make faces look flawless and arms look anorexic. Without these generous and downright dishonest filters, the amount of selfies posted would be zero because every girl knows that the photo she ends up posting bears close to no resemblance to the original picture she took less then two feet from her face. With the desired effect in mind, think washed out Earlybird, high contrast Lo-Fi or the always forgiving black and white filter Inkwell, anyone can turn themselves from busted to beauty queen in a matter of seconds. And what would a fake photo be without hashtags even more nauseating than the subject's pursed lips?
Take the Emmy's as Exhibit A: whether before, during or after the show, any breathing being with a shred of estrogen has since uploaded at least one photo, and I say one because it takes time -- a lot of time -- to perfect a photo before you upload it for people who actually know what you look like in real life.
Some people turn their phones around in their car and say cheese or stick their tongue out while channeling Miley Cyrus, others pose on red carpets, a large number snap away inside parties, and my personal favorite is the celeb selfie, or the girl who shamelessly takes a photo with a celebrity while holding her phone out arms length with the hopes of getting a decent photo she can hashtag the hell out of.
Now that the selfie is old news, its offsping, the style selfie has become unavoidable. This photo is not usually taken by the subject, but rather by a friend (or even stranger) but preferably by a friend who can continue to take photos until you run out of storage or until the perfect editable image surfaces. The image captures the head to toe look of someone who then gives the designer of their dress, jewelry, shoes and makeup shout outs using, yes, hashtags.
As long as Oprah is posting celeb selfies of herself with Mick Jagger, I presume this is a craze I should start getting used to. Hashtag sigh.