12/14/2012 04:04 pm ET Updated Feb 13, 2013

A Normal Day

This morning, my husband dropped my oldest son at school early for a student council meeting. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to him.

I dropped my youngest son at school next. He scampered out of the car and was off with his friends before I could say anything.

I took my middle son in to school with me because I needed to meet with a teacher and check in on the school holiday shop to see if they needed any help. I almost missed saying goodbye to Charlie, as he ducked left to head for his designated waiting spot before the school opens for the day. I didn't realize he had turned off until the last second. "Goodbye, Charlie!" I called out. He turned back and waved half-heartedly. "I love you!" He gave me a dismissive flap of his hand in return.

In Connecticut this morning, other mothers said goodbye to their children, or didn't, believing it was just an ordinary day. They sent them off to an elementary school that looks much like my own on paper. They didn't expect this.

There are no words.