Sometimes deep down, we're aware that the choice we're about to make isn't the best decision. Yet rather than change course, we offer excuses to justify what we're about to do.
Instead of preventing ourselves from heading down the wrong path -- or admitting we made a mistake -- we defensively attempt to rationalize our behavior. Ultimately, we keep digging ourselves deeper.
Although it sounds a bit ridiculous, everyone behaves impulsively, gives into immediate gratification, or overlooks risk sometimes. Here are five statements we try to use to justify our poor choices:
1. "I deserve to be happy."
Whether someone raises an eyebrow at a friend's latest love interest, or a business coach warns a client about taking on more debt, a reluctant listener often responds by saying, "But I deserve to be happy!" While you certainly deserve the right to pursue a happy, healthy lifestyle, this statement often gets thrown around by someone who is about to sabotage their chances of achieving long-term happiness.
When you find yourself demanding that you deserve happiness, make sure you aren't chasing fleeting feelings of happiness. Keeping your goals and values in mind can prevent you from exchanging momentary pleasure for long-term satisfaction.
2. "I'd rather beg for forgiveness than ask for permission."
When we're about the break the rules on purpose, or push the boundaries a bit too far, it's tempting to have this mindset. But if you really believe you're doing what's best, why would you need to ask for forgiveness? It's often a passive-aggressive way to avoid confrontation.
Thoughtfully consider the potential consequences of your behavior, including how it could damage a relationship, before you move forward. If you believe in something strongly enough, move forward with the confidence that there will be no need to fake an apology at a later date.
Ironically, YOLO is usually uttered right before someone puts their life in jeopardy. Should we really jump off this cliff into the rocky water below? YOLO. It's also used to justify immediate gratification. Should I really eat a second piece of cake? YOLO.
A rich and full life requires a delicate balance between risk and long-term rewards. Calculate risk and take time to consider how this type of thinking could derail you over the long-term.
4. "I'm just being honest."
Sometimes, when called out on impolite and unkind words, people claim their insensitivity stems from their desire to be truthful. And while the truth really does hurt sometimes, there's no need to be overly harsh. Honesty doesn't have to come at the expense of someone else's feelings.
Before delivering criticism or negative feedback, balance your desire to be direct with the other person's right to be treated with respect. Whether you're masking your insecurity by putting someone else down, or you're lashing out because you're upset, you're disrespectful demeanor will speak more about your character than your claims of taking the moral high ground.
5. "I don't care what anybody thinks."
While it's healthy to avoid trying to please everyone, that doesn't mean you shouldn't care what anyone thinks. In fact, a complete disregard for anyone else's feelings is usually indicative of a personality disorder. The truth is, we should care what some people think.
While there's no need to take a poll to ensure your loved ones agree with all your decisions, if people express concerns about your decision-making, be willing to listen. Set aside your defenses and take a moment to hear about any potential pitfalls or risks you may be overlooking.
Amy Morin is a psychotherapist, keynote speaker, and the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do, a best-selling book that is being translated into more than 20 languages.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.