12/26/2009 11:39 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Airline Terror Suspect Says He Follows bin Laden, But Just on Twitter

DETROIT (The Borowitz Report) - A would-be terrorist who is accused of attempting to ignite an explosive onboard a flight from Amsterdam to Detroit on Christmas has confessed to authorities that he is a follower of Osama bin Laden, but only on Twitter.

According to interrogators, the Twitter link between the terror suspect and al-Qaeda does not prove that he was working on instructions from bin Laden himself.

"We looked at his Twitter account," one interrogator said. "And while it's true that he follows bin Laden, he also follows Alyssa Milano and Shaq."

Investigators refused to confirm published reports that the suspect accepted bin Laden's invitation to play Farmville on Facebook. More here.