WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - President Barack Obama said today that in an effort to clinch a second Nobel Peace Prize he was ordering an invasion of Iran.
Announcing the invasion in a televised address, the president told the nation, "Now comes the hard part: writing my acceptance speech."
Mr. Obama said that if his quest for a second Nobel is successful, he would bomb North Korea.
"I have just one word for you," he said. "Three-peat."
Elsewhere, singing sensation Susan Boyle stunned the world by revealing that she had a steamy affair with Tiger Woods. More here.