Obama Briefly Profiled Before Boarding Air Force One

HONOLULU (Borowitz Report) - President Barack Obama was briefly detained and searched before boarding Air Force One yesterday in an incident that some critics are saying smacks of profiling.

With tensions over air travel in the U.S. spiking to new heights, the five-minute pat-down of the President of the United States is a sign that air security officials are taking their responsibilities more seriously than ever.

While Mr. Obama seemed visibly annoyed by the impromptu search, an aide said it was unlikely that heads would roll over the incident: "He'd really like to fire the head of the Transportation Security Administration but first he needs to hire one."

Elsewhere, a new book claims that actor Warren Beatty slept with over 13,000 women, making him the second-ranked golfer in the world. More here.