Obama Turns 48 Today; Birthers Demand Proof

President Barack Obama celebrated his 48th birthday today amid growing controversy that today is not in fact his birthday.

According to so-called "Birther Queen" Orly Taitz, the mainstream media has conspired with the White House to "hoodwink" the American people into believing that the president was born on August 4th.

"It's a very clever tactic, because no one wants to tell someone that they're not eligible to be president when it's their special day," she said.

In a sign that the Birther movement is catching on, a new poll shows that 50% of Republicans believe that President Obama is actually still 47.

"Lying about where you were born is one thing, but lying about when you were born is unforgivable," Ms. Taitz said.

She added that it was "very interesting" that Mr. Obama had dispatched Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to Kenya, remarking, "She wouldn't be there to find certain documents and shove them down her pants, would she?"

In other news, Ryan O'Neal said that he regretted hitting on his own daughter, adding, "I guess I should do the honorable thing like Woody Allen and marry her." More here.