03/01/2012 03:08 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

What You Can Expect at Denver Fashion Weekend - Spring 2012

I have a tough time convincing my pals to come to fashion events in Denver because no one thinks they're fashionable enough. Yes, I know, we are in Denver, where rich people think True Religion and Ed Hardy are fashionable, but I have news for you: many of us feel unfashionable, but we get over ourselves for the chance to hang out in a place where models are. And besides, I don't associate with unfashionable or ugly people -- not even over the Internet (I HAVE MY WAYS) -- so if you're reading this, you're probably okay.

So! Let's all go to 303 Magazine's Denver Fashion Weekend, shall we? I will explain what you can expect, and I'll dumb it down so I don't scare any Denver schlubs away.

Tonight (IT'S THURSDAY) from 8 - 11 PM: HAIR

Tonight is the hair show featuring Charlie Price whose hairstyles look like THIS INSANITY.

Part one of the show features the usual "all-male hair review paired with white-hot vintage fashions" -- Donnybrook loaned them a few males from our harem -- and during part two, "Visual champagne showers will sprinkle the crowd in a hair show full of lady locks and fashions by Soignee and Marie-Margot Bridal Couture." OMG! Sometimes you really can't top the writing in the press release.

Tomorrow night (THAT'S FRIDAY) from 8 - 11 PM: MAKEUP and LOCAL BOUTIQUES

To get all excited for Katelyn Simkins' avant-garde makeup show, check out her adorable website. This lady's got creds: She's a two-time NAHA Makeup Artist of the Year nominee, 303 Makeup Artist of the Year 2009 winner, and 303's Fashion and Beauty Editor to boot.

Then local boutiques will put on a fashion show that involves pastels, which I am dorkily really excited about.


If you don't feel like reading this whole paragraph, you only need to know a few things: 1.) 1920s traveling circus theme; 2.) confetti canons; 3.) designer tutus; 3.) juggling performers like Lo-Lo Flamingo. Now, the longer version:

When 303 Magazine decided to make closing night's extravagant showcase 1920s traveling circus-themed, it's like they peered directly into my strange little heart.

Autumn Binion of Au79 Productions is organizing the spectacle, and apparently she is a fan of confetti canons. Two local designers on the runway designer tutu company House of Arden, and Jose Duran, who has literally designed a runway show based around Joy Division's "She's Lost Control." I can only imagine wrecked models a la Aubrey Plaza in this video crawling down the runway in black latex. But I digress.

Juggling vaudevillian performer Lo-Lo Flamingo will also be there, and 1920s attire is HIGHLY recommended. What are you going to wear????

Sunday from 11 AM - 2 PM: BRUNCH

It's at the Rio, so it's okay - they probably expect you to get wasted.

See, wasn't that easy? Now, go buy tickets.