As soon as Anne-Marie Slaughter's Atlantic cover story, "Why Women Still Can't Have It All," hit my mailbox, I devoured it, and I've been discussing it all week with friends, my husband and yes, my nanny.
I think her attitude is unnecessarily defeatist. You know what? I do have it all, and I'm proud, happy and grateful for it. I'm going to keep working like hell to keep it all. And I'm not going to apologize for that.
Caveats: I'm 31 and have a 6-month-old, so I'm at the very beginning of this lifelong working mother role. And like Slaughter's piece, my comments pertain to an oh-so-small sector of the population; upper-class educated women, not the vast majority of mothers who do work because they MUST work. Actually, I think it's disrespectful to those women for those of us who DO have it all to complain.
That said, here's HOW and WHY things work for me so far.
HOW:
I woke up at 6:30 this morning, nursed the baby, played with her, sang to her, read to her, put her down for a nap, pumped breast milk, went for a quick run, and then my nanny arrived and my workday started. I finalized research for a two-night overseas reporting trip I'm taking this week, met with my editor to discuss it, wrote this blog post, did an interview, caught up on email (a chapter I'm contributing to a book; made arrangements to remotely visit a class) and was home by 3. I wrote my monthly personal finance column during the baby's nap and walk, played with the baby, made dinner, gave the baby a bath and put her to bed, had dinner and connected with my husband, and then went to bed myself by 10.
WHY:
- I have a great employer and a variety of flexible freelance gigs including writing and speaking. My value is based on the work I do, not the time I spend in the office. This is crucial! It's also increasingly common. It doesn't work for the State Department, but I know lots of doctors and lawyers who work part-time and/or are self-employed.