03/18/2010 05:12 am ET Updated Nov 17, 2011

How To Deal With The Drama For A Happier, Healthier You

One Simple Technique Can Help You Reclaim Your Life

"Oh, hello Drama, it's you again! I really could do without you showing up right now. You seem to show up at the wrong times. Sometimes, I'll admit it, I like a little drama. A little drama is a good thing. It keeps me moving, and gets the adrenaline pumping. But, drama listen, this isn't a good time for you to be showing up. I have a million things on my plate and I need to focus. I've really had my fair share of drama, so could you do me a huge favor and just chill for a while."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could just choose when we want a little drama in our lives? A little drama is a good thing, but too much can wreak havoc on our health.

Ladies, it doesn't matter who you are, drama visits us all, and can show up unexpectedly. Drama doesn't discriminate. It can just grab you when you're not even looking.

One day, everything could be running smoothly. The kids got to school on time, you got to work on time and you even had dinner already prepared for the evening; all you needed to do was to warm it up.

The next day, Drama comes calling. You have a really important meeting to get to, you make sure you're up early; the kids are off to school. You decide to leave earlier than usual because you don't want to be late for the most important meeting ever! (OK, that's a little exaggeration, but point is - you can't be late).

Somehow on the day you need to get to work early, wouldn't you know, there's traffic backed up for miles. You're not even near the bridge and you're cutting it close. Your heart begins to pound a little faster and you start to sweat, because you're thinking that you really need to get to work. But what can you do? You can't exactly get out of the car and go move the traffic. So here is a classic example of Drama visiting you when you really could do without it!

Or what about the time you thought your child's "All About Me" presentation was on Thursday only to find out you missed it since it was on Wednesday. Or you were positive Back to School Night was Wednesday night, only then, to your surprise you found out it was Tuesday night instead. Or remember when everything was running so smoothly and suddenly, out of the blue, your husband had a heart attack or you got laid off from your job. Or you got caught in family gossip with a phone call from your mother-in-law. You didn't want to be rude, so you listened to her go on about how your aunt doesn't talk to your uncle. Or right in the middle of working on your computer, it crashed and you stared in horror at a black screen wondering if you just lost all of your documents--(oh by the way, you had every intention of backing it up, but in the midst of "life" you just didn't get to it). Or you were up all night with your baby and all the sweet singing of lullabies in the world just wouldn't soothe your adorable baby and you're exhausted.

The key is to deal with drama when we really don't need it showing up.

So, how do you deal with the drama that plagues your life?

Breathe; just simply breathe the right way!

While I'm a huge fan of yoga, you don't need to be in a yoga studio to breathe. The great news is-- you can focus on your breathing anywhere.

OK, it's time to say Bye, Bye to drama....and breathe....just breathe the right way....

Just breathe sounds so easy, right? Actually, there's a way to breathe properly so you can de-stress and say "bye-bye" to drama.

I asked Eva Selhub, MD, Author of, The Love Response, and physician at The Benson-Henry Institute for Mind/Body Medicine at Massachusetts General Hospital, to offer some simple breathing tips.

It's important to realize that when you feel stress, your breathing becomes more shallow, says Eva Selhub, MD.

4 easy tips to help you breath the right way and to help you deal with the Drama (or stress):

1. Become aware of your breath
2. Focus on the miracle of inhaling and the miracle of exhaling--(inhale as deeply as you can until you can't take in any more air, then let it all go as you exhale until there is nothing left)--
3. Then count 1-2-3-4 as they inhale- taking a little pause
4. Then 4-3-2-1 as they exhale

Do this for ten cycles. By becoming aware of your breath and focusing on how you breathe, "that starts reducing stress response reactivity immediately," says Dr. Selhub.

Sometimes when you're conscious of your breath and you're concentrating on breathing, it may help to use verbal commands.

Dr. Selhub recommends:

As you inhale--say, I inhale peace

As you exhale--say, I let go of tension


As you inhale--say, I am enough

As you exhale--say, I have enough

I asked Dr. Selhub what the best way to breathe is; is it in the nose and out through the mouth, or in through the nose, out through the nose?

"I just ask people to be conscious that each inhale and exhale is a miracle. When you are in awe of the breath, you actually breathe. In stress, you do whatever is most comfortable. Many people recommend inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth, but I just say "do what you're most comfortable with", says Dr. Selhub.

So, the next time Drama grabs you, breathe, just focus on your breath and breathe! Breathing the right way can help you become a healthier and happier YOU!