Just last week, America's first condom store, Condomania, opened its database of penis sizes and released these unique rankings of the 50 states and the 20 most populated U.S. cities by average penis size. Previously, the largest formal survey of penis sizes was conducted in 1948 by the famous Kinsey researchers, when 2,500 men recorded their erect penis sizes. In this ten-times larger database, the user measures the length and girth of his erect penis to the millimeter and then matches those results to one of 76 possible sizes that comprise different length and girth combinations. What made this all possible? In 2004, the company launched TheyFit condoms --the world's first line of tailored-fit prophylactics.
Just think of the jokes, pun, and terminology that will ensue after this study. Here's one: "genital relocation" -- if the competition is too "stiff" in your city, you can always move to Dallas or Philadelphia where you might, um, stand out more.
Can I suggest a follow up study? Now that we know who has the biggest stick, I suggest finding out who really has the biggest balls of them all..
Here are some highlights from the study's database:
Top Ranking State by Average Penis Size: New Hampshire
Lowest Ranking State by Average Penis Size: Wyoming
Top Ranking U.S. City by Average Penis Size: New Orleans
Second Highest Ranking City: Washington, D.C.
Lowest Ranking City by Average Penis Size: Dallas/Ft. Worth
20 Cities Ordered by Penis Size
New Orleans
Washington DC
San Diego
New York City
Phoenix
Portland
Atlanta
San Francisco
Chicago
St. Louis
Seattle
Miami
Indianapolis
Columbus
Boston
Denver
Los Angeles
Detroit
Philadelphia
Dallas/Ft. Worth
50 States Ordered by Penis Size
New Hampshire
Oregon
New York
Indiana
Arizona
Hawaii
Louisiana
Massachusetts
Alabama
Washington
New Mexico
California
Arkansas
Nevada
Virginia
Tennessee
Illinois
Oklahoma
South Dakota
Georgia
Pennsylvania
Mississippi
Michigan
Florida
Rhode Island
Kansas
Maryland
Minnesota
Vermont
Connecticut
Wisconsin
New Jersey
North Dakota
Idaho
Texas
Missouri
Montana
Ohio
Nebraska
Colorado
Maine
North Carolina
Delaware
South Carolina
Kentucky
West Virginia
Alaska
Iowa
Utah
Wyoming