12/05/2014 11:36 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

My Turtleneck Is Choking Me! And Other Winter Wardrobe Struggles

(Photo by Christopher Taylor)

I have recently fallen in love with the turtleneck. It's a fairly new relationship, inspired by Nora Ephron. It elongates my neck, keeps me warm and has a simple elegance to it. It's a perfect winter staple because you can wear it with anything- jeans, skirts, under button-ups or dresses- offering a myriad of versatile layering options. After all, that's what winter dressing is really all about.

But, as well all know, it is the ones we love that always end up hurting us. The first sign, like a boyfriend with some major trust issues, is that it's hard to get in. You have to really push!

Sometimes my favorite cotton black turtleneck and I fight. It forces me to squirm and pull and yank at a garment that I can't go more than a few days without. The sleeves feel shorter, and it rides up too much, exposing my bare midriff. It closes in on my neck, leaving no room for escape. My hands ultimately come to the rescue, and try to stretch the seams until the claustrophobic feelings are relieved.

Dressing for winter means having to troubleshoot wardrobe malfunctions on a regular basis. If your turtleneck doesn't go in for the kill, your scarf will. Sleeves and endless layers bunch up under bulky jackets and have you twisting and turning until you can straighten yourself out.

And don't even get me started on the morning commute to work. By the time you make it to the subway with cold flushed red cheeks, waves of heat start coming in. With nowhere to take your jacket off, the most you can do is unzip it. Are you feeling sweaty yet? Probably.

And then the ever imminent question, where do you put your scarf, hat and gloves if they're covered in snow?

What's a little perspiration compared to frostbite though? While I continue to drag my transitional jackets through puffy jacket territory, I take comfort in the fact Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen look this good while most likely hiding their discomfort while wearing what appears to be at least 6 scarves. But hey, to each their own when it comes to winter fashion in a sea full of White Walkers.