05/04/2007 02:44 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

And If You Bring The Chihuahua To Court, It's 90 Days

Los Angeles City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo, who has the best monicker of any city attorney I've ever heard of*, thinks Paris Hilton should spend 45 days in jail for violating the terms of her drunk-driving probation. The alleged violation occurred when Hilton was clocked going 635 mph through a school zone in a rocket-powered jet car on Christmas Eve, guzzling Crantinis through a backpack hydration system and randomly firing Scud missiles into the air. (I think. It's possible I'm a little hazy on the details).

Delgadillo denies that Hilton, 57, is being singled out for special treatment because of her celebrity status: "Anyone who would have conducted themselves in a way that resulted in this set of facts, we would have made the same recommendation," Delgadillo tells AP. This may even be true, although witnesses report seeing Delgadillo roll his eyes and cough the words "Not really" into his hand. But shouldn't conscientious prosecutors have the right to turn the screws on select defendants simply because they're annoying? Would it really rock the foundations of the legal system if a prosecutor stepped to the microphones some morning and said "We have asked the judge to sentence Ms. Paris Hilton to 45 days in County because she's a dippy socialite twit and her record sucked and we're just sick to death of reading about her"? Or "We will ask the court to place Ms. Lohan in custody until such such time as she is prepared to keep her mug out of the papers for one weekend"? Call it prosecutorial privilege, and let Delgadillo and his peers level with the public on this. We'll all be better off.

*City attorneys I've heard of: 1