08/02/2009 06:02 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Finally! A New Euphemism!

We've had a lively potpourri of sex scandals recently, but none can match the transformative power of the Mark Sanford affair. Finally, we have a new euphemism for extramarital relations and an artful one at that: "hiking the Appalachian trail." For those of you doubting the coolness of this new entry into the American erotic-political vernacular, I offer the following sample conversation between two political insiders.

POLITICAL INSIDER #1: "Have you heard anything from Senator Smith?"

POLITICAL INSIDER #2: "The senator? Not much. But rumor has it, he's been hiking that old Appalachian trail lately."

POLITICAL INSIDER #1: "Well, I'll be damned!"



See! Try it for yourself, and you'll see how much fun it is.