I love hearing stories about grooms that are wholeheartedly involved in the wedding planning. They attend the vendor appointments, pick out wedding colors, choose the music, taste the cake, etc. It's really nice to see such collaboration between the bride and groom. Because as we all know, a wedding is about two people getting married, not just about the bride. Right? Yeah, sure it is... Notice how I said "stories"? Because that's exactly what they are, stories.
In my experience, it's actually quite rare that the groom is interested in anything having to do with the wedding planning aside from where he is supposed to be and when he is supposed to be there... Oh, and how much it's going to cost. Yup! That's usually when the grooms get involved... When it's time to cut the checks. And frankly, I'm f*cking over it.
Listen, I know that not all of you grooms are the same, and that some of you really do like to help with the plans, but the truth be told, most of you are a royal pain in the ass. Here's what happens... You enter the equation just in time to screw up all of the arrangements. Seriously, instead of talking with your bride-to-be in advance about things like, oh I don't know, the budget, you wait until she has just about finalized the decor, finished meeting with all of the appropriate vendors, and is about to sign on the dotted line, and then BAM! You have heart palps about how much your bridey is spending on the damn flowers, and suddenly everybody has to slow down, and start over. Really? I even had a groom ask me if my fee was negotiable two months after his bridey hired me! I mean... C'mon!
So, for all of you groomys out there, may I offer you some advice? It's really simple actually... Here, I'll break it down for you.
A Groom's Guide to Wedding Planning:
1. Either you're all in, or you're all out. But, don't just "pop" into the wedding planning when it's convenient for you or there's money involved. Have a conversation with your bride-to-be in advance. If you're cool simply showing up to the wedding in the right style tux, then so be it.
2. If you're choosing to be all in, then be all in. Divide the responsibilities BEFORE your wedding planning begins to take on a life of its own. For instance, you will be responsible for hiring the DJ (or band), selecting the rehearsal dinner venue and assigning your mother shit to do so that she feels involved. Your bride will arrange the flowers, pick out some cool linen and hire the photographer. Together you will select the venue, choose your wedding rings and procure the transportation. And, all the shit in between? You'll divvy evenly as it presents itself.
3. If you're choosing to be all out, then be all out. But, do yourself a favor, groomy... Discuss the budget before your bride starts making the plans. If you don't, then you will most definitely be one of those guys I was referring to earlier. I mean it; you'll just end up ruining it for your bridey if you become involved only when there's money on the table.
4. If you made the decision to be all in, then live up to your responsibilities. Do actually hire the DJ, secure the rehearsal dinner venue, etc. But, please don't do it half assed because that's worse than not doing it at all (especially when you said you were going to handle it).
5. Understand that whatever budget you are planning on, you'll go over by about 15-20 percent. PERIOD. This point goes for both of you. Every planner I speak to says that same thing... Most couples go over budget, even when you pay people (ahem, like me) to keep you on track. It's called impulsive buys. Kind of like the shit that's perfectly placed near the register at the grocery store? You know? The caramels, gum, giant Blow Pops... You know you don't need it, but you really want it... So, please don't get mad at the bride, you're just as much to blame as she is.
Groomy, I hope this two-cent tour of wedding planning helps. I really do, because the more you know, the less you'll fight your way to the altar. Got it? Good! Stay Bitchless (groomy)!
You Might Be Interested In:
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.