04/30/2012 05:42 pm ET Updated Jun 30, 2012

What I Learned From a WHCA Dinner Pre-Party

Eat beforehand and booze always tastes like booze.

Friday night's Impact Arts and Film Fund/National Journal/The Atlantic/Funny or Die First Amendment Party, a White House Correspondents Association pre-party festivity underwritten by The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas, Siemens, Volkswagon and José Andrés' catering operation, sure was fun! I did things like stand around, scream into very nice people's ears (because every D.C. party, regardless of who's in attendance or what anyone actually wants, has a soundtrack that is only pleasing to people starring in car commercials targeting 16-21 year olds) and consume very nice people's food and beverages. I'm not sure if I was supposed to make new friends or shoot photos of celebrities or say mean things about journalists to celebrities or say mean things about celebrities to journalists or say nothing, so I just smiled a lot.

I smiled at all sorts of people. People in suits, people that gave out wristbands, people wearing VW blue T-shirts, people walking around with tiny food, people serving drinks, people serving drinks to females that are male and think they have a chance of scoring with those females, people that write important things and people that are on televisions. All types of people. I also took photos with some people.

I didn't learn too much but here are some facts and musings I'm taking away from my first WHCD pre-party experience.

  • The venue for the party, the former Borders location at 18th and L streets NW, didn't feel completely like a former Borders location.
  • I'm supposed to buy a car -- specifically a Volkswagon.
  • I completely forgot how much I like music videos.
  • The ratings are up for certain science-based reality shows.
  • Sometimes it's easier to "flirt" with young ladies, ladies much younger than you, when you have been in things people kind of remember.
  • It's really easy to tell when people are very intoxicated and/or super high.
  • Certain people go in and out of "authentic" accents when it's convenient.

I came hungry and left hungry, so I will eat before the next party. I drank alcohol and even though it was all in close proximity with people seen on TV, the booze tasted pretty much the same. Everyone was nice -- this is Washington after all, where people are at least pretending to be nice and smile for the camera when prompted.

What I Learned From A WHCD Pre-Party