The Diary of a Recovering Perfectionist

02/05/2016 10:59 am ET Updated Feb 05, 2017

Hi. I'm Cailen, and I'm a recovering perfectionist.

Recovering in the sense that it's my still my default mode, but I'm shining consciousness on it, creating space around it, and loosening my perfectionist death-grip. (Ugh. If I could only be better at letting go! That's a perfectionist joke.)

Perfectionism is rigid. Hard. Cold. It feels like an ever-tightening grip. A breath held.

The opposite?

An exhale. Warmth. Softening. Flexibility. Support.

Ahhh...support.

Why does asking for the support we need feel so unnatural?

Maybe because we were told (by society, school, friends, family, whoever) to be well-rounded. To push through. To do it ourselves. To pay our dues. To figure it out. To check all the boxes...

You need to know how to boil an egg, do long division, change a tire.

You need to know how to conduct a sales call, run a launch, build a 6-figure empire in 6 months.

If not, you're behind. If not, you're failing.

We've been told that success is the result of hard work, dedication and a linear path. That asking for help is a sign of weakness. And that focusing purely on what we love -- our strengths -- and letting someone else handle the rest/help us/guide us/be with us is lazy.

I'm done with doing it all myself.

I'm done with pretending I can handle it all.

I'm done with trying to be/do everything.

Doing that was exhausting. Doing that was stripping away my innate power.

Here's my Truth: I'd rather be masterful than a jack-of-all-trades. (click to tweet if it's your truth, too.)

So what does that mean? What does my life need to become in order to pursue mastery instead of mediocrity?

It means focusing on what I'm really, really good at and what I really, really love. Those are the guideposts. Not metrics. Not data. Not someone else's advice.

It means being real. With you, with my family, with myself. And, handing-off the rest to people who can do it better. (If someone else can do it better, let them.)

It means allowing myself to be supported. Giving myself permission to outsource. Building a team.

Danielle LaPorte puts it this way, "What would your life be like if you only did what was easy?"

Not lazy easy where you cut corners and do things half-assed. Quality easy where you focus on your gifts, talents and strengths and seek the necessary support to make the rest of it happen.

Inviting support into your life is Quality easy with a capital Q.

If the idea of letting go. Of asking for help. Of getting the support you need feels like a foreign concept, I'm guessing it's because YOU are the support for so many others.

How would it feel to allow the tides to turn? How would it feel to invite more comforting, luxurious, divine support into your life? And, what would it look like anyhow?

Support can come in all shapes and sizes. Start small if this feels new and unknown. Or go BIG because why not.

Listen to what your heart/intuition/inner guide is asking for. Acknowledge what you're ready to let go of. I mean, like, look it right in the eyes.

Take the leap, and land in the soft, warm, welcoming arms of the support that you need.

You're home.

To get things rolling. Here are a few ways support can come into your life...

Ask for it
Voice what you no longer need
Accept an offer
Share the responsibility
Team up
Say yes
Say no
Find a mentor
Unburden on a friend
Join a mastermind
Hire help
Turn to your inner guide
Outsource tasks
Ask for divine guidance
Exhale...again...and again