01/11/2011 10:33 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Parent Better After Divorce: 5 Tips for the Thinking Parent

As modern parents, we've absorbed the basic advice about what to do to help kids through a divorce. Bring them to therapy. Don't badmouth the other parent. Keep your dating life out of their sight until you've become serious, and make sure you don't get involved with anyone dodgy. Of course. Yet that's about as far as it goes.

As the mom of two young children, I did all of the above. But while I was editing Ask Me About My Divorce: Women Open Up About Moving On, essays turned up daily in my in-box that happened to include valuable nuggets of advice that went way beyond the freshman year of parenting advice. These missives served as doses of medicine for my children and myself, and helped us to survive, recover, and thrive. Here are my favorite gems:

No matter the situation, getting divorced does not make you a bad parent. As for being a good parent, well, reading this article to the very end gives every indication that you already are. Thoughtful, aware choices on how best to support and heal yourself and your children are tools you can use to make it through this oft-grueling process. There are gifts to divorce, if you don't let its stigma overshadow them. Put them in the sun, water them, and watch them grow.