THE BLOG
01/27/2015 07:24 pm ET Updated Mar 29, 2015

Adding the Complex to Motherhood

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When did motherhood become so damn complicated? That's the first thing that came to my mind after watching the formula commercial that has been circulating for the past weeks. It's brilliant; it just reflects exactly the constant war in which mothers are involved every day. It seems being a mom is not enough these days, you need to join a cause, a living style, a belief to have a sense of belonging and acceptance between mothers. And after watching this ad, I realized I am totally guilty of judging and joining sides, even if I don't approve it. It's easy to judge other mothers and forget what it's important, what we have in common: our children, who are unique.

Why did it get so competitive? Ask your mother or grandma. I bet they didn't have to give explanations about having a c-section. They were not given an evil look because of spanking a kid in public. Conversations with friends were more honest, letting them vent about the challenges of motherhood without poses. They did value the motherhood sisterhood. But you must be thinking they didn't have Facebook profiles to fill in with beautifully captured moments of their family. Right, they just had the face to face interaction without being bombarded by media in general. The bar was not that high.

Honestly, since becoming a mother I feel more and more distant from my mommy friends. It just disappoints me that we can't listen and comfort each other instead of pretending to be the perfect mothers according to whatever trend is going on. I must confess that I get very anxious with activities that require socializing with other moms. It's just exhausting to try to bond with this complex group where you have to identify yourself as the working mom, the gym mom, the vegan mom, the hipster mom, and the list goes on pick your group! And you thought you never had to go back to the high school era.

I think it's time to make a pause and go back to basics. Maybe it's a romantic idea, but I believe that deep inside our socially conscious beings, we have compassion and empathy for other fellow mothers. That we don't have to pretend, we are just imperfect, messy moms trying to do their best to raise good human beings while we sort the challenges life has for us.