THE BLOG
02/28/2016 08:57 pm ET Updated Feb 28, 2017

The Secret Step to Achieving Anything

There is a Secret Step that no one really wants to talk about when it comes to achieving goals.

This Secret Step must be taken and applies to you whether your goal is losing weight, completing a college degree, having a successful relationship, dropping your substance addiction, or lifting more weight at the gym.

There's a good reason this Secret Step is a secret; it's scary. It's petrifying, actually.
It's simplicity is dumbfounding.
And you won't be the same person afterwards.

Here it is:

Once you know what is it you most desire, you must let go of the struggle.

Letting go of the struggle is hard, because it's usually the only life we know.

Letting go of the struggle means no longer telling the story of why losing weight is so hard, why its so hard to get good grades, why its so hard to get him to listen to you, why its so hard to totally quit, why its so hard to make gains.

Let.
That.
Shit.
Go.

And what's left?
Often, nothing.
Crickets.

When we quit telling ourselves about why things are hard and complicated and this that and the other thing, there is not a lot left to say, is there?

The SECRET STEP is retraining your Self to tell a different story about how IT IS POSSIBLE.
Not only is it possible, but you are in the process of doing it RIGHT NOW.

I'm not saying this is EASY.
Hell no.

Let's face it... it's uncomfortable to lose weight, it's tedious to study, it's scary to be vulnerable in front of others, it hurts to quit using, and it takes a lot of time and effort to build your body.

Those are all temporary.

When you decide to after a goal you MUST release the struggle. It will be the main thing standing between you and your success.
All the other details are figureoutable.

All those rappers singing about going from ghetto to stardom?
All those authors writing books about their 100-pound weight loss journey?
All those folks with PhD's teaching the next generation about theory and science?

THEY ALL LET GO OF THE STRUGGLE and did the WORK instead.

Here's the thing; when you decide to start telling a new story there are often people and places that will no longer be present in your narrative.

Sometimes releasing the struggle also means releasing toxic people, toxic places, and things that took up your precious time.

Which means you will experience:
White Space.
Vacancy.
Silence.
A Gap.
New People.
New Places.
Empty drawers.
Fresh Starts.
Screeching halts in progress and days which are filled with bliss.

Letting go of the struggle means BEING OPEN TO RECEIVING that which you say you want.

(This is also a scary proposition for people with low self esteem or who feel on some level that they actually aren't worthy of success. But, that's another blog.)

Ready for Bottom Line?
Step 1: Determine what you actually want.

Step 2: Come up with a plan to get there.

SECRET STEP: Listen to all your excuses about why it's going to be a huge struggle, so hard, oh my God what did I get myself into, I can't quit on my own, I don't have time, can't afford it, blah blah blah. Return to Step 1. Do you still want it? If no, we are done here. If yes, return to Step 2. Is it a solid plan? If no, revise it. If yes, then let go of the struggle and move to step 3.

Step 3: Implement the plan.

Step 4: Achieve the goal and set the next one.

Step 5: Repeat.

I dare you to go through your day today repeating to yourself
"I am releasing this struggle" -- and see what happens.
I double dog dare you.

Comment here about your biggest WIN.