So many New Year's Resolutions are under the assumption that we are broken. We are doing life all wrong. So much of life already promotes those loathsome feelings, along with magnifying our imperfections, insecurities and inabilities. It's exhausting. Life is hard enough. I find plenty about myself imperfect, I'm not about to let a fresh, brand new year be the reason for more self-hatred and loathing. I say this year we stay unresolved, exactly the way we are.
Instead of resolutions, I choose intentions, and this year they consist of the following:
1. Pain can make you bitter, or it can teach you kindness and calm, authenticity and perspective, empathy and peace. I choose the good stuff. This year, I will work to let go of fear, anger, judgement and jealousy. These emotions are a sharp plug, directly siphoning out joy, lightheartedness and happiness in their most sacred and concentrated of forms. Every painful situation I've encountered has made me better and taught me significant lessons. I want these lessons to remain sticky all year long.
2. I refuse to wait to be happy. The answer is not finally getting organized or losing five pounds or joining a gym, or landing my dream job. There are no questions that must be answered before you find your happiness. Happiness is already inside you, waiting to be uncovered and nurtured. Name three adjectives that bring you joy- grow those bigger. Mine are adventure, learning and giving. Put your adjectives on a post it on your bathroom mirror.
My boys, Greyson, 4, and Parker, 2, allow me to refuel all three.
3. Welcome a silent mind. Life is made up entirely of moments -- not forevers. Sometimes in the middle of a painful moment, that lesson feels impossible to remember. Our mind races with the burden of the unbearable. Sometimes it helps to seek silence. Remember- this is just a moment, not my forever. Sometimes the calm comes during the not thinking. I think back to every important decision or realization I've ever made. The answers always came in the silence, never in the chaos.
This year I want to fall madly in love... with myself.
Because my greatest accomplishments and happiest moments of my past came naturally when I felt like I was a pretty okay person.
Welcome 2014, with you, anything is possible.