10/16/2012 01:04 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

How Do You Stay Small?

I have used quite a few techniques in my life in order to stay small. Time and money are some of the biggies. Then there was my stage fright, the fear of making mistakes and the many very good stories of me not deserving any better.

I have even used my surroundings to stay small. That was one of my very smart techniques, because I would stand out as the one being right. The one you should pity, and the one who had to sacrifice herself. Yet again.

stay small

I have also used my own children in order to justify my missing feeling of freedom and the many chores, which with all certainty showed that I had to stay small just a little longer.

In all honesty I may have used all the tricks in the book. That's why today I'm a true master in spotting when others stay small.

Back in the day I would point that out to them. I don't do that anymore. Now I acknowledge their reason for staying small. And I know that they'll contact me or someone else when they are finally ready to break their pattern. Or they'll find a way out for themselves.

Until then I'm probably not the greatest person to hang around with. I'm at a point now where I'm oozing a subtle: We don't have to stay small, unless it really makes sense, which it rarely does.

We stay small for many reasons. Sometimes it has to do with the fact that we are not even conscious of all the other opportunities. At other times we have realized that it's possible, but we have made a rule stating that it will never be possible for us.

We feel safe in the space, we have assigned for ourselves. That's why it's so scary to operate outside the box. And no one says that we should let go of our constrictions. That's also up to us.

Life can be an expansion of endless flow, and we can choose to stay small. Maybe it all comes down to a matter of taste? Even though it rarely feels that way.

Fore more by Christine Eilvig, click here.

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