10/25/2013 01:07 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Being There for Ourselves


Photo credit: Mads Alenkaer

I have often said yes when I meant no. I have also said no while feeling a clear yes inside.
Leaving ourselves in that way is one of the most devastating things we can put ourselves through. Our lives quickly become complicated when we overrule our needs. That behavior can be felt in every cell.

Even these days with all that I know I find myself self-abandon in stressful situations. Because I don't want to make anyone unhappy. Because I don't want to create drama. Because my needs suddenly seem ridiculous. Or because I don't want to take up too much space.

It goes wrong every time. Really wrong.

I get a heavy feeling in my heart, my body begins to make noise and all energy and pleasure leeks out of me. I my mission to be so-called nice I end up being cruel to myself.

In most cases I'm able to change direction as soon as I feel my vibration drop. But once in a while I end up in a scenario where everything crumbles around me and only in the middle of the battlefield I'm able to listen to my own needs.

In many ways it's simple. We need to stop being so mean to ourselves. We need to listen to our needs. And we need to find the courage to act on our needs.

We need to be there for ourselves. In a way no one else is capable of. We are the only ones able to feel our needs not to mention express them clearly. Simple but not always easy.

As a loving adult we need to take ourselves in the hand and with great integrity protect what supports us best. Even though it may be difficult. Even though others may feel sad. And even though we may take up more space than we feel.