02/26/2015 04:53 pm ET Updated Apr 28, 2015

Bully No More

Thomas Barwick via Getty Images

"You're too fat."
"You don't know what you are doing."
"Prove me wrong."
"You are stupid."
"You are hopeless."

These negative words are words often used by a bully. Many of us are familiar with the character that just constantly tormented us. I realized that this bully character that I thought I said farewell to after my teen years, never disappeared in my life. And that person was me.

I was the bully. I bullied myself. When my business went the way I didn't expect it to, I blamed myself. I was my escape goat. When everyone else was supporting me, I was sitting there terrified that I might disappoint everyone and started doubting and bullying myself.

The thing about the negativity that words of bullies use is never encouraging but it actually feels suffocating.

I don't know about you but I achieve more with positive assurance and encouragement rather than negative discouragement. Even knowing this, I still was my own worst enemy and bullied myself constantly. I picked on everything I worked on to see what I "missed". I didn't see this as an opportunity to learn and grow but I saw it as an opportunity to attack my own self-esteem without realizing it. It was my ego and pride that I disappointed, not those who are supporting me. The picture of outcome is not what I drew up in my head at all. It never is. My ego, thinking somehow I can paint a perfect picture, would be hurt so badly when it isn't.

Thankfully, faith and love steps in when I am constantly bullying myself. It is the understanding that I am capable of nothing yet everything. It is the knowing that those who love and support me, they will always love and support me. On this Anti-bullying day, I realized I am a bully; I was a bully. I bullied myself to exhaustion. I bullied myself to not see myself as the person I am but the person I disliked. I was hurting myself with words, thoughts, and actions. On this day that I support so dearly, I am making a promise to myself and to all of you.


I promise to embrace the love and support around me and accept it with full grateful heart. I promise to let myself go and have faith that whatever the outcome, I will persevere. I promise to love myself as I love everyone. I promise that I will learn to let myself go and to relax.

I promise to keep this promise.