07/21/2014 11:49 am ET Updated Sep 19, 2014

Why I Can't Watch the Video of the NYPD Murdering Eric Garner

Taxpayer-funded hate crimes, like the murder of Eric Garner, is particularly traumatizing to blacks who are already distrustful of police.

I shut my eyes instantly when a commercial displaying footage of Eric Garner's murder appeared on my television to advertise the local 10 o'clock news.

My fingers swiftly swiped by embedded videos of the tragedy on social media.

I haven't, I won't and I can't watch the video of a NYDP officer applying a banned chokehold to Eric Garner, a father of six. You may call it irresponsible journalism, but I call it trauma.

I'm traumatized by the evil actions of police officers, mostly white males, who continue to exterminate unarmed black men for sport. I'm traumatized by the bullsh*t processes, procedures and policies that eventually lead to the proverbial slap on the wrist for these officers, if any punishment at all.

I'm traumatized by the narrative "innocent negro brutalized, officer cleared." I'm traumatized by the frequency of these taxpayer-funded hate crimes and even more so due to lack of clear and present solutions.

I'm not the only person, and I'm damn sure not the only black male traumatized by these images, I'm just one of the first to admit it.

The Staten Island incident was not a rare occurrence of unnecessary use of force, but a common practice of brutality to black bodies performed by the NYPD, PPD and other police departments who view themselves as above the law, and perceive blacks as less than human.

We don't need another large rally demanding justice, what we as black Americans need is political power and the ability to police the police

Thanks for reading. Until next time, I'm Flood the Drummer and I'm Drumming for JUSTICE!