03/18/2014 12:25 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

I Lost My Glasses

DAJ via Getty Images

There is cosmic permission, for I'm 63. No worry about Alzheimer's, only my driving.

I stopped by the optometrist's office that same day.

While cheaper than a Google Car, I wasn't happy with the bill. Of course, my prescription had expired, so I needed an eye exam. New glasses were almost $350. On autopilot (perhaps because I couldn't see very well), I simply did the routine.

Two-and-a-half years ago, my more-significant-than-I-am other insisted on accompanying me to my eye appointments. I would pick out goofy-looking big plastic frames and she would make sure I got new, trendy ones: small, thin, rectangular, metal. I checked around, checked the stars on all the TV shows, reality and non-reality, and had to admit that the grooviest of the groovy were wearing those.

2014-03-15-roundglasses.jpgThis time, I grabbed a similar frame, a bit bigger and slightly rounded, so I would get in trouble, but not too much trouble.

2014-03-15-bigglasses.jpgA few days later, just out of curiosity, I searched for a hipper-than-hip eyeglass outfit I'd heard about. What a shock. Now my favorite kinds of glasses, goofy-looking big plastic ones, are the grooviest of the groovies. I was groovy before they were, but wasn't allowed to be. With my new thin, metal, slightly rounded glasses, I'm hopelessly old-fashioned...

Until I lose them, which might be soon since I have cosmic permission. I'm 63.