08/30/2012 12:20 pm ET Updated Oct 30, 2012

Guide to Communicating Candidly in Personal and Business Life

In my last article, I looked at the process of measuring the results accumulated from thinking with intention and the value of communicating your new approach to others.

I have found the next step is how to integrate your intention into both your personal and business life in a way that is easy and mostly sticks.

Many of us become ineffective communicators when we feel personally triggered or that our intention is misinterpreted by those we are engaging with -- whether it be family, friends our partner or a stranger. When certain negative feelings are triggered, our communication can deteriorate to Neanderthal-like proportions. What I would like to put into consideration is my own personal CQ -- communication intelligence. Our CQ is the bridge between what we think, our IQ, and how we feel, our EQ. I am not saying our communication is consistent, as I have been shocked by how low my own CQ can become when I am feeling triggered in personal situations; however, I find that I mostly have a high CQ in business situations. What I have learned, however, is that there are always ways for me to be aware of my reactions and improve my communication skills.

A key action and a time-tested statement is to remember to "pause before you speak." When feeling triggered, confused or that that you are falling into the wells of misinterpretation, simply ask for a moment -- a moment to respond, a moment to collect your thoughts or a moment to take the time to understand what the person you are engaging with is trying to ask you.

In business, when we take the time to pause I often find that we can bring a sense of candor and self-respect into a situation. It is important to remember that you have the right to gather your thoughts and to ask to hear the question again. By taking time to pause, you can once more consider, "What is my intention? Do I wish for this conversation to end up badly? Do I want to feel negativity or rage?" From experience, I have found if you build upon the ability of pausing, it will save you a lot of heartache. I am not an expert, but I have become far less reactionary in business and find few problems that cause me to fly off the handle. Try giving yourself some time. This also allows the other person time to catch themselves -- hopefully, in a positive way.

In my next article we are going to talk about how intention can help you build your own brand and reputation, "The Guide to Reputation Management." I am most concerned about our current unemployment figures in this country, and even more concerned about the fear I see in people who are afraid of being redundant in their jobs. Its time to stay fresh and relevant. This is something we'll be focusing on in our talks at the California Women's Conference in September.

For more by Clare Munn, click here.

For more on success and motivation, click here.