We have all heard some version of the old cliché that the fun of any conquest lies within the chase, right?
Although I hate clichés, this one deserves to be acknowledged because, let's face it; it's flat-out, undeniably true when it comes to relationships. The adrenaline high that intoxicates us during a thrilling romantic hunt is a rush that makes us feel alive and filled with passion. We become laser focused on "the prize" and end up putting all other aspects of our lives on hold as we willingly let the torrent of sultry emotions wash away all other thoughts and responsibilities. It's a dreamy, wonderful roller coaster ride that we never want to end. Until it does. As with any high, once the euphoria of this hormonal trip wears off, a harsh, sobering reality sets back in and shatters all of the passion and romance.
Just ask anyone who has ever experienced the thrill of the chase and he or she will tell you: you can't have the thrill without inevitably experiencing the buzz kill of the catch as well. The truth is, once we actually obtain what we have so persistently pursued, we tend to lose interest pretty quickly. This disappointing realization causes an emotional-hangover that triggers our primal need to start the hunt all over again and the cycle continues. Exhausting, right?
When it comes to relationships, how can we ensure that we don't end up yesterday's boring conquest but instead always remain the highly sought after prize? It is all lies in mastering the Game of Seduction, my friends. Whether you are in the midst of a budding new romance or have been married for several decades, there is no excuse for letting the fire fizzle out of your relationship. Allow me to share with you the Top Five Rules in the Game of Seduction and help you fuel your love with the fervor and mystery which will allow you to remain smokin' HOT!
Rule #1: Trade in iChats for Genuine, Intelligent Connections
In a world where we can pick up our smart phones and use Apps to have our interests virtually matched with those of a potential lover only a few blocks away, genuine face-to-face conversation is a dying art. However, as backwards as it may seem, the rarity of real conversation these days only makes mastering the art of it all the more important. Let me explain. We all want to connect with someone not only on a physical level, but an emotional level as well. Even men (who are notoriously visual creatures) crave deep intimacy through intelligent conversation and shared interests. The art of sharing your worldviews and actively listening to those of someone else is an integral component in heightening chemistry. Lose the one-liners, put down the iPhone, and make the time to find some shared ground on which to genuinely connect.
Rule #2: Never Show That You Are Intimidated
The quickest way to lose the upper hand in the Game of Seduction is to appear intimidated by another man or woman in your lover's life. By openly admitting that someone else threatens you, you are not only accentuating your own insecurities (which is incredibly un-sexy), but you are also indirectly letting your partner know that you doubt your own value. Bad move. Just keep your mouth shut. Go get your hair done, hit the gym, pick up some sexy lingerie or do whatever it is you have to do to muster up some megawatt balls. Intimidation is for mundane losers, and nobody wants to screw one of those.
Rule #3: Cultivate Your Sense of Humor
Have you ever noticed that your most popular friend who constantly seems to be fighting off suitors also happens to also be the life of the party? Makes sense, right? People who know how to have fun are magnetic not only in friendship but in love. If you are struggling to keep your partner's attention, try to amp up your wit and flash a few more smiles! Laughing is not only a good way to emotionally bond with your lover, but it a well-known aphrodisiac as well! If all else fails, rent a personality.
Rule #4: Keep Your Lover Guessing
Nobody likes a tease, but everybody loves some sexy drawn-out foreplay. While withholding sex for too long can lead you down a frigid path to Cheatersville, a small amount of sexy teasing and rejection can be a huge turn-on in a relationship. Is this manipulative? Probably. But is it a surefire way to make your partner hot for you? Absolutely! Once you have left your lover wanting more, follow-up during the day with some sexy texts and photos to keep the fires smoldering hot. Trust me, do this, and your partner won't be able to keep his or her hands off you the next time you are alone. Just remember, variety is the "spice" of all mind blowing sex. Change it up.
Rule #5: Avoid Banality
While there is something to be said for finding someone with whom you are completely comfortable sharing with (or doing anything in front of), the trick is to never allow this comfort to result in tedium. Routines are great so long as they are interrupted every now and then with some sparkling spontaneity. Recreate a special moment with your lover, try out a cool restaurant, visit a new city together, whatever! You have to keep learning, growing, and sharing exciting experiences together as a couple if you want to avoid falling into the ruts that so many couples blame for the high divorce rates. Even if all you want to do is sit on the couch after work and flop out with the dog, for the sake of your relationship (and sanity) force yourself to take your partner out and keep things spicy and fresh!