08/25/2009 05:12 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Obama Defeats Global Warming in Chicago

It will be a massive achievement if President Barack Obama can shepherd a workable health care plan through Congress.

If his efforts to save the world's economy really click and revive General Motors as well as my moribund retirement investments, his legacy is assured.

If peace holds in Iraq and if he can stabilize Afghanistan he will have worked miracles.

But we cannot overlook the one thing he has already accomplished for his home town in the seven short months since taking the oath of office. It is his crowning achievement. He has reversed global warming in Chicago.

While global temps in 2009 are slightly higher than in 2008 according to NASA records, according to the Chicago Tribune web site, our high temp for the entire month of July was 86, and nothing higher is forecast for the rest of the month. According to historical records, July usually has seven days when the high is 90 or above, so we are well below the monthly average. Now this is real clout in action, far more impressive that the tiresome, petty University of Illinois admissions scandal.

Climatically and economically this is great news. In my house we have yet to run our air conditioning even once, so, if we are typical, energy savings area-wide must be massive.

2009-07-25-tomatoes.jpgBut reversal of global warming has its downside. It is wreaking hell on my marriage. My wife, you see, is a major gardener, and she is distraught over her vegetables, and cranky over the weeds which seem to love the cool weather.

We both look forward to eating nothing but home grown veggies in August, but at the rate things are going, we will be lucky to pick any tomatoes by September. The eggplants look like they will never surpass egg size, the cucumbers will be suitable only for making gherkins, and one wonders if the thumb sized zucchini will ever become baseball bats so we can gloatingly give them to out condo dwelling friends and family. Still, the weeds are out of control. Worse still, our friendly farmer's market vendors tell us that we are weeks away from the only reason to put up with life in Illinois, sweet corn.

Meanwhile, the media are brimming with stories of the success of the White House vegetable garden. Apparently Mrs. Obama has already had a harvest party for local kids. Well we're jealous. We want our global warming back. Yes we do! Yes we do!

Unless otherwise noted, all text and photos are Copyright (c) 2009 By Craig "Meathead" Goldwyn,, and all rights are reserved. Click here for information on reprint rights.