05/17/2010 05:12 am ET Updated Nov 17, 2011

Ladies, Where's the Respect or Do We Deserve It?

Ladies, are some of us disrespecting ourselves? I'm trying to understand the logic, but maybe I need a good explanation.

I was watching the news yesterday and heard about a young lady who was taking her fiancé to court for domestic violence. She was all up in the courthouse ready to tell this judge just what horrible things this man had done to her when he looked over to her and told her that he loved her and wanted to marry her. Well, apparently this is a decision that can make changes happen quickly. She told her attorney that she wanted to marry him. The defense attorney asked the judge if they could take a break to go get married. Now, I know you all know that if this woman marries this man, he could deny her speaking to the judge about what harm he's done to her. So, the judge that was going to sentence the man, (get this), married the couple in his chambers! A couple of hours later, the man and woman stood in front of the judge and of course, the man said she's not speaking and the judge dismissed the case. But, the judge said if the husband hadn't married the fiancé, he would have faced a long time in prison, but he told the husband, "Now you're married to her for the rest of your life!" Are you serious?!

What is going on with us? A lot of us women, I'm not going to say all because that would not be the truth, but a lot of us are doing things in this world pretty screwed up (and I don't want to say screwed up)! For one, some of us give men a lot of mental power. Not only do we give them mental power, but some of us also tend to give them all our milk for free. We go and live with a man, have kids with a man, some, spend their lives with this one man, only to never get married or get married in a courthouse after getting their ass beat! When asking some women why they didn't get married to the man that they've been living with for years, they say that "it's too much paperwork" or ask "what's in a name." I don't know about you, but doesn't that give a man the clear opportunity to get up and leave you with the kids and bills?! Not all men would do that because there are a lot of good men out here, but you know there are some who would bounce just as quickly as they could.

To me, most men are good men, but they're also clever. They will only do what you allow them to do and they'll keep going until you put your foot down! For instance, what's up with these songs out here calling a woman a "ho" or "bi---" or one of my favorites, "chicken-head!" What's worse, there are some women who actually answer to it or promote it. We see it all the time in music videos. Guys singing or rapping and women walking around half dressed shaking what their Momma gave them! I mean its one thing to be a sexy, confident woman who dresses sexy in a classy way, but it's another to be dressed like a hooker with your backside bouncing up and down in the camera. I'm not knocking how we dress for our men, but can't it be down in private?

I understand that sex sells, but these images of us, how we allow men to treat us and how we treat ourselves are readily available for young girls to see and then they turn around and try to practice the exact same way of life hoping to get results that look like a fantasy only to find out that it's a complete nightmare that they wish they could wake up from.

We have the freedom to do whatever the hell we want, when we want and how we want. Respect for who we are and how we deserved to be treated should be at the top of our list. I know we're not going to turn back the hands of time and live a lifestyle like "June Cleaver" or sleep in separate beds like "Lucy and Ricky," but what is it going to take for us to realize that we as women hold a lot of power and how we act, how we treat ourselves and how we allow ourselves to be treated makes a huge impact on what we are able to achieve...