You have 2011 staring you right in the face. A fresh new year. So many things to do. So many people to meet. So many New Year's resolutions.
So what do I think about New Year's resolutions? I think that the only thing that New Year's resolutions generally accomplish is to get in your way.
How many times have you laid out the most amazing, well thought out resolutions? You make a list of twenty or thirty things you are going to accomplish during the new year, only to have each and every one of those resolutions broken by January 15th.
So instead of making a big list of resolutions, most (if not all) of which you will break, allow me to suggest one resolution you can successfully put into effect every single day of 2011: Forgive and forget about everybody you dated in the past.
Say you're divorced or have been in a long-term relationship that ended. You're free now. You're single. You've got a whole new you and a whole bunch of new people you can meet today.
I want you to erase your memory and forget about everyone you dated in the past. If anything is really bugging you about anybody you've dated in the past, or if you're still thinking about your past relationship that ended, I want you to write down all of those thoughts and feelings then I want you to forgive.
So what if your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend cheated on you? There is nothing to be gained from dwelling on it. It doesn't change anything about where you are now.
Realize that right now you have a totally clean slate. You don't have a clean slate just because is it is new year (2011), but also because you are completely free from that old relationship or marriage. Divorce or breakup means that you can go out and find amazing people to date everywhere you go to date.
So if you're angry about anything that happened in the past when it comes down to dating or relationships or the ex anybody, here is what I want you to do. I want you to take time to write a letter (or an email) . . . to yourself.
Write it as if you are writing it to the person at whom you are angry (or the person who hurt you), but send it to yourself. In that letter, tell that person who angers or who hurt you most that you forgive them for everything that happened in the past in your relationship.
The biggest problem that people who are divorced or out of long-term relationships have, is that they carry with them the hurt and anger they feel into their next relationships. They carry forward the mistrust into their next relationship. They carry over all the hope that was dashed in the last relationship into the next relationship.
They carry all of this with them into their next relationship, and end up entering that relationship waiting for that next partner to fail them and for the relationship to fall apart. Of course, with that kind of energy being introduced into the relationship, this is precisely what ends up usually manifesting.
It's a new year. It's a new you. Embrace everything that happened to you in 2010. Embrace everything that happened to you in your last relationship. Embrace your divorce.
Forgive your ex. Maybe they weren't the best husband, the best partner, the best father, the best wife, or the best mother. Forgive them and accept them for who they are, and realize by forgiving and accepting them for who they are that you can now go out and meet great people wherever you are.
It's a new year. It's a new you. It doesn't matter if one of your other resolutions is to lose 10 or 20 pounds or whatever it might be. It doesn't matter what the physical goals are this year - whether it's to lose weight, gain weight, or add muscle.
What is most important is your mindset. Having a clear powerful strong mindset to start the year, and having a clear and definitive mindset every single day throughout the year, will allow you to enjoy and to accept everything that's going on in your life.
It is a brand new year and a brand new you. This is the post-divorce or post-relationship you. This is the you who deserves to meet somebody amazing, somebody spectacular, and somebody with whom you can grow.
Enjoy 2011 and the new you that you can be in 2011. Forgive and accept everything that happened before now. That's the best resolution you can have for yourself this new year.