I want to talk about multiplicity in your dating life. Many people have a negative view of serial daters. They think someone who dates several people at once must be a cheater, a commitment-phobe or at a minimum, a liar.
While this may be true of some women who are dating multiple people, I actually believe that there are many good (and, in fact, great) reasons to date several different people when you're single. I even think that dating many people might be one of the best ways to find the one person you are really looking to find.
Here are five great reasons to date multiple people -- at once:
1. It's good to date outside your comfort zone.
So many people date "comfortably"; they keep seeing people who are nice, but they never date anyone who really excites them. They go out with whoever happens to cross their path and then don't look any further. This person is fine, so there's no need to cast around for others, right? Wrong!
While you may need to do a little more leg work, and while it may require going on a lot more dates, it is absolutely worth it to get uncomfortable and to leave your dating comfort zone. It is only by really going out there and looking for someone who excites you that you will find that amazing relationship.
2. It's all about the law of attraction.
Meeting and attracting amazing men and women happens to those who have an "abundance mindset." When you develop an abundance mindset, you see that the people who come into your life are ones to whom you are very attracted. They are people who stimulate your mind and your soul.
It's all about understanding the law of attraction. You attract who you are, not what you want. Until you go out and work on your inside, there's no way you're going to attract the person you want. If you live in fear and insecurity, you are going to meet someone exactly like you. Part of working on your inside is going out and meeting lots of people. Giving different types of people a chance on dates will help you to define who you really are and what you really want from a partner.
3. Get rid of your dating "musts."
A lot of women have a mental list of "musts" for the men and women they want to meet and date. Sometimes, what we think we want (or don't want) may not be so easily determined in one date. So it's time to realize that you don't have to make up your mind about someone you meet on date number one.
You don't have to make a decision on any particular number date. You can be dating six or eight people at a time, getting to know each of them. Some of them will "drop off" naturally as one or both of you realize you are not a good match. You don't have to tell the people you date how many people you're dating. There's nothing wrong with it, and it's really important to take your time and find out who you are and what you want.
4. It's all about being open and honest.
One reason a lot of women shy away from dating multiple people is because they feel awkward about what to say if one of the people they're seeing asks them about it. Dating several people at once is not about having to hide things or about being deceitful. As I said, in the beginning, you don't have to bring up the fact that you're dating around. All you have to do is show up, be present and connect with each person when you're with them. Just be yourself.
If someone asks you if you are dating others, you need to be honest and tell that person that you are, but that you are enjoying spending time with them. You have to be honest at every step along the way and do the right thing. If you end up liking one person more than the others and decide to see that person exclusively, you may have some awkward moments with the others, but being honest is always the right thing to do.
5. Use the power of choice.
The most important reason to date multiple people, in my opinion, is that it is the number one best way to really find the person you're looking for. It is the best way to avoid settling for someone who might be nice and fine but not really the best person for you.
It is important not to underestimate the power of choice. Get out there and know that an amazing relationship is out there for you, but that you are the one who has to go find it. Finding it means meeting and interacting with as many prospective significant others as possible. Using the power of choice is the key getting what you really want in your dating life.
The only way to figure out who and what you truly want in a partner is to date multiple people. Dating more than one person is a good thing and something that should be part of your dating life. It is a great way to really take the time to understand what you want in another person -- and to know when you have found it.