THE BLOG
02/14/2011 11:54 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

It's Valentine's Day And You're Newly Single . . . What Do You Do?

Valentine's Day here. Are you thinking to yourself, "What do I do? This is my first Valentine's Day alone in a long time."

Are you newly single or is the ink still wet on your divorce papers as this Valentine's Day approaches? If so, is this making you wonder what to do on Valentine's Day?

You feel lonely. You think about maybe getting the kids together and having a party. You even think for a second about calling your ex to see what they are up to.

Here's a better idea. Embrace the fact that you are alone. Embrace the fact that you know you have a choice to go out and meet anybody you want. Embrace the fact that you can be proactive about doing that.

To help you to get a start on embracing this, here are five ideas to help you make this Valentine's Day better than any one you've ever had:

1. Have A Group Dinner: Invite all of your divorced friends and have each of them bring a member of the opposite sex with them who is single. You can even extend your social circle in a way that is easy, comfortable and fun. It doesn't even have to be just divorced people, it could just be anybody who is single. The only requirement is that they have to bring one new person with them. You'll have a great evening, and give yourself a chance to meet a whole new group of friends at the same time.

2. Do An Online Dating Site Impromptu Invite: Another thing to do is put your online profile up on one of the big dating sites (e.g., match.com). Be sure to put your picture up on there. On your profile, say "I am only here for a week. That's it. After that week is done, my profile is being taken down. Here's the deal -- I am getting strangers together for a Valentine's Day Party. So if you are interested in coming, shoot me an email!" You will get a ton of men responding to you. A ton. Then you can weed through and figure out which ones you want to invite and which ones you don't. Then invite your friends to come, and have a great and fun evening out somewhere where you can meet a lot of great new people.

3. Have A Girls Night: Round up all your single girlfriends, and plan a great night out together. Call them up and say, "Let's make Valentine's Day a girls night!" You don't need men to have a great Valentine's Day. You may not be ready to meet someone yet, and still may be going through the process of figuring out why the relationship went where it went and why it ended. So if that's where you are, allow yourself to embrace that, and just enjoy yourself with your friends on Valentine's Day.

4. Keep Hallmark In The Holiday: Just because you are single doesn't mean that you can't still show love on Valentine's Day. How about showing some love to your family or your friends? Why not get together with family and exchange Valentine's Day cards with them. Have some fun with it. Remember that Valentine's Day doesn't have to be all about meeting someone.

5. Treat Yourself: Something I tell everyone who is newly off of a breakup or a divorce is to be sure to reconnect with yourself before going out to meet someone new. You need time to process everything that happened, and more importantly to reconnect with yourself and who you are as a person. So on this Valentine's Day, you could take the day and treat yourself -- to a massage, a great pedicure or even just a great bubble bath by candlelight at home. Show yourself some love.

So, those are five good things to do this Valentine's Day if you are single (and especially if you're newly single). These are things you can do whether you want to meet new people or you just want to reflect or enjoy your family. Either way is fine.

If you're having trouble with being single on Valentine's Day, just remember that it is just one day out of the whole year. There are 364 other days that are all about you and trying to enjoy your newfound singlehood.