05/02/2010 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Quit Fuming at the I.R.S.

We all know it sucks when the I.R.S. asks you to pony up for the stuff we, as citizens, collectively buy, like roads and armies and bailouts and bridges to nowhere. Makes a fella want to express strong emotions sometimes, and that's generally all right, as long as it stops short of harming anyone who lives outside of your own head.

But here's the deal: the I.R.S. is not the guy pricing the menu, it's just the waitress collecting the tab.
The I.R.S. has not, will not, and cannot tax you. It carries out the charge of the Congress and the prez (and the last several version of same), period.

"The taxman" (who, as we all know, if you take a walk, will tax your feet) is not at the I.R.S. He and/or she is in Congress and the White House, or, just as likely, living in embarrassingly comfortable retirement from those gigs, "working" as a consultant to companies whose job it is to suck tax money out of your pocket.

But what about the collection end? Can't we blame the I.R.S. for that? Whatever collections the I.R.S. folks do, no matter how hard they must suck for the people getting collected from, they are simply enforcing laws they didn't write.

Anyone, in or out of power, who says the I.R.S. is your enemy for any reason is calling you a fool to your face. If you go along with their ridiculous reasoning (roughly "I just stabbed you; isn't that knife a bastard?"), they're right.

So please take a look at the people who are telling you to hate the I.R.S. -- most especially if they have or have had a policy role in government -- and think about the completely insulting crap they're really selling you. They know better, of course, so the only conceivable reason they would lie to you is because they think you'll be stupid enough to take whatever they say at face value. Which is to say they think you're a really dumb animal. Even the dog, when you palm the ball and pretend you threw it over his head real quick, expresses some skepticism. You can muster more thoughtfulness than Ticker, can't you?

Now go scrape that stupid "Crippled by the I.R.S." sticker off your bumper. You can disagree with tax policy all you want, but if you can read this, you're too smart to think the I.R.S. has anything to do with it.