Dinner Party Insurance

I have been invited to many a party in my day. I used to think it was because of my good looks or great taste in wine or overall fantastic-ness. But, alas, as my husband so lovingly pointed out, it's because I am conversational. A professional conversationalist at that. I realize that even though I barely know the party host, they want me there.
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I have been invited to many a party in my day. I used to think it was because of my good looks or great taste in wine or overall fantastic-ness. But, alas, as my husband so lovingly pointed out, it's because I am conversational. A professional conversationalist at that. I realize that even though I barely know the party host, they want me there.

Why?

I'm insurance.

With me, there isn't a lull in conversation. There isn't that uncomfortable, awkward moment that feels like a year and a half when nobody is talking. Where people start checking their phones or shoving canapés down their throat. When you wish someone would choke just so there would be something to talk about.

You cannot imagine how many wedding gifts I have purchased over the years. And all because I can't keep my mouth shut. I can't handle the awkward lull. I am not tooting my own proverbial horn here, but I am the best wedding guest you'll ever have: I keep the conversation flowing and I buy really nice gifts. It's just a fact.

So, it's rare that I find conversation icebreakers that I have not A. thought of or B. used or C. written about in a book.

But paging through Real Simple magazine's November issue changed all that. One of the questions they recommend you ask at the Thanksgiving table was (drum roll please):

If you could eat only one food on this table for an entire year, which one would it be?

I know, great, right? Though the answers won't be that interesting because clearly mashed potatoes is the only right answer here. Again, just the facts.

Last year, I wrote about what not to say at the Thanksgiving table. But the upcoming holidays encompass an entire season, so the pressure is on. Ever considered that holiday weight gain is not due to egg nog but rather hovering near the buffet to calm social anxiety? Keeping your mouth full of baked goods may seem easier than witty conversation. It's not. Or maybe it is - for a minute. But then you've got that whole if I don't unbutton my pants in three minutes I am going to die and that's not very festive, is it?

Real Simple did a nice job of a few things you can say, so take a peek. Then relax, review and enjoy those potatoes.

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