People often ask me what kind of sex tips I can give them, I guess because I write steamy erotic romances. I sort of equate sex with food. Both are totally sensual experiences if enjoyed properly and both follow the same progression of appreciation as you age.
When couples are younger I think they look at sex like fast food -- get as much as you can as often as you can. Just gorge yourself on it. But as you get older you discover that if you learn relax, with food and sex, the pleasure can be indescribable. You learn sex is like a fine meal, something to be slowly savored, not gobbled on the run. So let's break this down into the parts of the meal.
Set the Table Properly
For a meal you want an appealing presentation, and so it is for sex. In your bedroom? A hotel room? For a woman, use that special perfume you love, for a man that spicy aftershave. And what to wear? Men, even just boxer briefs are sexy, if you get them in a stunning color. Wherever you find yourself, take the time to include music and candles. The scent and sound will rouse the senses and prepare you for the first course.
Or, the aperitif. Something meant to wet the appetite. To awaken the senses. Tease the palate. With a couple this means soft kisses, light touches, maybe whispering some sexy words while soft music plays in the background. Remember, it doesn't have to be a five-star hotel. It's all about how you choose to create the environment. Just enough teasing to fire the imagination--or stimulate the palate.
It should be spicy enough to tickle the senses. Learn which parts of the body give your partner the greatest pleasure. Is it caresses with the spice of a chili bean soup, or light touches that embrace like a consommé or creamy blend. Spend some time learning what "tastes" best. Tease each other with little "bites." Remember, the object is to set the stage so the level of desire in your partner is building. You can't believe what a turn on it is to watch your partner slowly lick the last drop from his or her lips. Especially when you think what parts of the body might leave that little trace.
Crisp and delicious, ignites the taste buds in both the palate and deep in the body. Pulses begin to pound, breathing becomes a little uneven and by now you want nothing more than to touch each other. All over. But you don't, because the salad is also a tease. It's a time for whispering kisses, light touches, exploration of sensitive places as you ready each other for the entrée, the main course. The flavors have been building, sensations piling on sensations as that main curse dances temptingly just out of reach.
By now you should have taken the time to know each other's most responsive places, most eager reactions. Touched each other in all the secret places. Do you like this? Does that please you? How does this make you feel? The excitement has built slowly, through kisses ranging from tentative to ravenous. Caresses have moved to erogenous zones like the spot behind the ear or even for some, the crook of the elbow. The early courses have been designed to arouse and tease and now it's time to satisfy your partner. How you do that is different for every couple, but just as you savor a fine cut of beef or a delicately roasted chicken, so you savor your partner until both of you are replete.
The icing on the cake, so to speak. The buildup has led to passion and the passion has been satisfied. Now it's time to ease each other down with slow but gentle kisses, warm words of affection, soft caresses. To hold each other and appreciate the full effect of the meal. Oh, and don't forget to stoke the appetite, just a little, for the next time.
Remember, it isn't how old you are but how good you are when it comes to sex. At any age if you learn the things that make your partner the most responsive, the things that create the most responses, every sexual coming together will be astonishing, arousing, and completely satisfying.
Desiree Holt is one of the oldest living authors of erotic romance. Previously, she spent many years in the music industry and then struck off on her own, running a public relations agency. She currently lives in Texas with her family. Her newest book Finding Julia is now available. Learn more about her at DesireeHolt.com.