According to the Kübler-Ross Grief Cycle, when we experience trauma or change, we go through five stages of grief -- denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance -- each of us at our own pace. Clearly, the ultra-conservative right is passing through that first stage as they respond to America's decision to reelect President Barack Obama in a $2-billion campaign, vote for marriage equality in three states, reject Minnesota's anti-gay-marriage amendment, oh, and legalize marijuana for recreational use in two states.
Here in Iowa, voters maintained a pro-equality majority in the Senate, increased ally seats in the House, and retained Supreme Court Justice David Wiggins, the targeted justice who had supported the equality-minded decision in the Varnum v. Brien case.
So here they are, those ultra-conservatives, in that first stage of grief:
- "Our opponents and some in the media will attempt to portray the election results as a changing point in how Americans view gay marriage, but that is not the case," said Brian Brown, president of the National Organization for Marriage (NOM). "Americans remain strongly in favor of marriage as the union of one man and one woman."
It's hard to say when the majority of ultra-conservatives will turn to anger, the second stage of grief, but we can expect it soon, and their wrath will be a sight to behold. We have seen some of that already, as some seem angry with themselves or with others in the party. Some are blaming the Tea Party; others place the blame squarely on their candidate, Mitt Romney.
- Robert Stacey McCain, writing in The American Spectator, blamed New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie: "The list of fools who have brought this disaster upon us certainly also will include New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, the gelatinous clown who (a) hogged up a prime time spot at the Republican convention to sing his own praises; (b) embraced Obama as the hero of Hurricane Sandy; and (c) then refused to appear at campaign events in support of Romney's presidential campaign. Good luck with the remainder of your political future, governor. It is unlikely Republicans shall soon forget your perfidious betrayal."
I am anxious to see the bargaining stage. If it comes soon, it may allow Congress and the Iowa State Legislature to do the work of the people, to work on the real, day-to-day issues that affect each one of us.
The depression stage will call for us all to understand that this is just one step away from acceptance. And I cannot wait for acceptance. What will that look like for ultra-conservatives, for Iowa and for America?
Those who won generally accepted their wins with grace, civility and some thread of reconciliation. My favorite of the election, bar none, was Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper's cautionary response to the vote to legalize recreational marijuana in the Rocky Mountain State: "Don't break out the Cheetos or Goldfish too quickly!"
Isn't Democracy wonderful?