Six years ago, I bought myself my first pair of gold hoop earrings. And I loved them. Soon after my purchase, I lost one. To make a long story short, I repurchased the same earrings three more times in the next round of years, until I was left with three -- a pair and one backup earring.
All was quiet until one day last summer. When my friend gave me a hug, she accidentally bent one of the earrings. I was now down to one pair and zero backups. When I was at the beach with that same friend last week, I lost one of the earrings. I felt sick inside, and then remembered I still had the bent one. The next day, I put it in my ear, decided it looked good enough, and made my daily trip to Starbucks. While I was there, one of the earrings fell out, but I caught it. I told myself to put it away, since I didn't want to lose it. But instead, I decided to put it back in and not worry about that! I then went to the bank to do my weekly deposits, and when I touched my ear, the earring was gone. I retraced my steps back to Starbucks, and the earring was nowhere to be found.
You're probably wondering where I'm going with this, but the story is a metaphor for life -- when we talk about the themes of perseverance, attachments, and knowing when it's time to let go, surrender, and make room for the new.
I am someone who attaches easily and strongly, never gives up, and pushes through many obstacles, even if I tire or get scared or hurt. Perseverance comes naturally to me. Letting go does not. And herein lies where I've gotten my biggest life lesson, which is learning when it's actually time to stop trying, to let go, and to make room for new experiences, dreams, and people.
The value of perseverance is priceless. I do believe people give up way too easily on themselves and their dreams, and even on other people. We live in a very impatient, fast-paced society where everyone expects to achieve things quickly. My life has never been that. I've always had great determination, and nothing has come to me before five or six years of working toward it. My Ph.D. program lasted five years, achieving tenure at Kingsborough Community College took five years, getting my book deal took five years, and my private practice started to thrive at about the five- or six-year mark. Had I not pushed through the many obstacles along the way, I never would have achieved my dreams.
On the flip side, there have been many times when I've stayed attached to the outcome for too long and had to get my butt kicked before knowing it was time to let go. It's a delicate balance and a lot of work to know, within us, if we should keep trying, or if it's time to let go. It's a steadiness I have worked hard to achieve.
The lesson (and what I tell my clients over and over) is that we owe it to ourselves to risk and persevere, and try everything we have in our heart. And if it doesn't work out, as long as we did everything we could and didn't sabotage (knowingly or unknowingly), then we have won. We can't account for how others will react, or for the plan of the universe. And once we've turned over every stone, we'll know if it's time to change our course and make a new choice, allowing for something new and wonderful to enter our lives.
So here is how the saga of my gold earring ends. When I realized it'd been six years, I laughed and immediately felt resolved. I persevered, I loved, and I lost, and it's okay. I had a knowing (as I now often do) that it was time to let go and make room for something new.
As of yesterday, I am the proud owner of a new pair of Jennifer Zeuner gold earrings. They cost me $98, and I love them -- just as I always end up loving the new thing that comes my way, once I let go.
For more by Dr. Debbie Magids, click here.
For more on emotional wellness, click here.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.