THE BLOG
01/29/2015 05:50 pm ET Updated Mar 31, 2015

Jennifer Lopez: Can You Mix Motherhood and Moxie?

Actress and music sensation Jennifer Lopez has been dazzling Hollywood for years with her style and sex appeal, and in next month's issue of Complex Magazine the 45-year-old continues to flaunt it. However, her choice of revealing clothing has raised some controversy about whether she is presenting herself appropriately considering she is also now a mother. JLo's response was simple: "I'm not allowed to be sexy because I'm a mom? It's like, how do you think I got my children?"

JLo is not alone. Last year everyone was talking about the incredible Grammy's performance by Beyoncé and her husband rapper Jay-Z. The stars opened the show with a super charged rendition of the song Drunk In Love. Their chemistry electrified the entire Staples Center. Even so, some people thought the couple and parents of young daughter Blue Ivy were too racy and crossed the line with their performance. Both situations raise the question: are people supposed to stop being sexy when they have children? Can you be only one thing or the other, a parent or an attractive and alluring person?

It is a slippery slope to balance the responsibility of being a mother, and all the demands that go with that, with the desires and expressions of femininity. As far as JLo goes, she has always exuded sensuality, sexuality and confidence as a woman, and continues to while being a hands-on mom. Whether you agree or not, she makes the statement that motherhood and sexiness can go together rather than being mutually exclusive.

Although some disapprove of her actions, it's important for a woman to feel sexy all the time - especially after having children. Rather than being upset by her choices, her children can be proud of her for being a confident woman. The reality is, the goal of every woman who has children is to be able to integrate her sensuality with being a mom, and not lose herself or her sexual expression. JLo has stayed true to who she is, and keeping that up allows every woman the chance to be hot at any age. If there is any message here, it is that especially as a mother it is important to still preserve time for you and take the plunge to make room for the small pleasures that add excitement to your life and help you rev up your routines. It could be finding an hour here or there to exercise, buying something pretty, wearing that silk blouse, having your hair cut, or getting that manicure or pedicure every few weeks. The aim is to be your own best self. Having children does not have to preclude you from giving yourself the opportunities to do the things that will enhance feeling good and make you want to flirt with your partner.

JLo knows what makes her feel sexy. Really, though, it is not the specifics of what you wear that matters; it is the essence of what you put into what you wear that will lead to letting your sexual self-expression shine that is important. If you are able to do that, then you can find a marvelous mix of motherhood and moxie.

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