There is a saying in the publishing world: "Everybody loves to be second." It means, of course, that pioneers don't always have an easy time of it. They have to sell their new idea a lot harder than those who come after them.
The Queen of Your Own Life by Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff is a far cry from the original. Definitely second, and a distant second at that. The pioneer of the contemporary Queen archetype is urban shaman and HuffPost blogger, Donna Henes. Sadly, these pseudo-queens do not acknowledge her pioneering work.
Oh, don't get me wrong, in as far as they go, Kinney and Ratzlaff present a sweet, simple version of Queendom. Their few points are a good idea for women all over no matter what age they are.
Claim your Beauty.
We all need to do this. I'll never forget the day I realized that although I was never going to look like Christy Brinkley, Christy Brinkley was never going to look like me either.
Clean your Mental Closet and Find Your Own Voice.
Mental closets hold all sorts of ghosts for all of us. Figuring out what you believe, and tossing those that no longer serve out an eleven-story window is a great idea that causes women to find their own voices.
Admire Yourself.
If not you, who?
Build Friendships with Other Women.
Yep, good women friends go a long way toward building ourselves up rather than agreeing with those who are tearing us down.
Establish Firm Boundaries.
A terrible conundrum for a lot of women. Boundaries are good if only to know when we're breaking them.
Learn to be Happy.
It's a decision. That's all.
All good advice, no doubt about it. The authors have come to their queenliness via their own personal, hard-won, and admirable paths, as have all of us. Their stories are moving, as are all personal stories. Sprinkled with queenly quotes from remarkable women, the book is nicely designed and produced.
But, as I read it, I kept going back in my mind to the day more than five years ago that I picked up Donna Henes' The Queen of My Self. I put down the book over and over again to weep as I read it. I found an up-to-the-last detail description of myself and my life in her words. In fact, it is because of Donna's book that I met her. I wrote to her in deep gratitude, and she, like the Queen that she is, answered me. We have corresponded ever since.
Donna's book digs right down to the bottom of her soul. She bares her spiritual process in a way that is exemplary for potential queens everywhere. Donna's Queen archetype is an adventure in transformation and, in the five years her book has been out, thousands of women all over the world have found their own Inner Queen.
While Kinney and Ratzlaff brush the surface of queenliness, this Harlequin publication left me feeling like I was reading Queen Lite. If you want Queen Lite, go ahead, read The Queen of Your Own Life. And if you want the real thing -- the spiritual thing -- read, bathe, bask, wallow, crow, and crown in The Queen of My Self by Donna Henes.
Long live the {Real}Queen!
For spiritual nourishment, visit Dr. Susan Corso's website and blog, Seeds for Sanctuary. Follow her on Twitter @PeaceCorso and Friend her on Facebook.