If you've been consistently reading my blogs, you've been part of the intense and ever changing journey that has been my life for the past few years.
Waking up. Getting off of anti-anxiety meds. Living a more purposeful life. Helping others. Starting a charity.
The past few years have been quite a ride! But nothing quite like the ride I've been on lately.
At the end of last year my sweet little angel dog, Lillee Kravetz almost died. Out of nowhere, her body just started falling apart. She's totally fine and perfectly healthy now, thank goodness! But the whole ordeal really did me in and had me start to look at and analyze every part of my life.
Why am I living in this house? Why am I doing this job? Why am on this earth? Am I happy? And on and on.
For seven years, I lived in a three-story townhouse and I walked to my office. I was very happy doing this. I was lucky to be in a rent controlled building, had a ton of space and could WALK TO WORK! It was perfect!
Until I realized.... I don't want to walk to work. I want to walk to the ocean.
The next thing I knew I was signing a lease on a little bungalow in Venice that was the size of one of my old closets. I gave away all of my furniture. Literally all of it. 85 percent of my closet... gone! It was like the Macy's warehouse sale -- EVERYTHING MUST GO!!
It took me about a month to go through everything in my house. I opened a drawer and pulled out six remote controls. Six! WHY?! How did I get six remote controls?
It was literally as if my drawers were throwing up over the place. Like that little can you would open when you were young and a snake popped out. My drawers were doing this.
The different reactions people had was fascinating! Some of my friends were rejoicing! This is amazing! Let me come over and help you get rid of EVERYTHING!! Others freaked out -- "No, no, no, you can't get rid of that! Or this! Or that!" and my all time favorite reaction, "Don't' rid of anything that you NEED."
Hmm... that one got me thinking. What did I really need? I need to breathe. Air is free. I love the beach. That's free too. Lillee Kravetz was all better, and she was definitely coming on the Venice adventure. I love music so yes the record player was coming. I love to be with my friends, clearly I wasn't going to donate them in the purge.
I had been living for 36 years with all of this STUFF. So much stuff. Clothes. Books. Clothes. Furniture. Clothes. Letters. More clothes. Attachments. Shoes, bags, shoes, bags, jewelry, clothes. Fears. Things. STUFF.
I donated it all. Hyperventilated a little bit. Packed some boxes and moved to the beach.
And as I look around the little gypsy bungalow, I realize that I've never been happier! It's cozy here. It feels good here. I'm happy here.
I went to the park over the weekend, without my phone and laid under a tree. I usually save something like this for vacation. Somehow when I take a trip, I always find myself laying under a tree and LOVING IT. Why isn't this a part of my every day life? It is now!
I really didn't think that I was going to change much more after my several year major transformation. But oh how I was wrong. I feel like the universe has placed me on a giant wave and thank goodness I took surfing lessons last summer because that's what I am doing now. I'm surfing on the wave of life. It's scary at times and really tests my ability to trust but I'm going with it. I'm going with it and loving it!
Do I still love fashion? OF COURSE I DO. Do I still like to rock an amazing outfit? Yes! It just doesn't have as much importance as it used to. It's not like I can take the shoes with me 80 years from now. But memories I can take. Feelings I can take.
I invite you all to LET GO. Let go of something. A piece of clothing. A blanket. A book. A fear. See what rushes in when you've made some space.
Onward and lovingly,